My name is Anna, and this is my story.
One Sunday, Pastor Chris unexpectedly announced a mission trip to Uganda with three weeks’ notice. It immediately sparked my interest, but like most other times when I’ve heard that still small voice, I procrastinated. It wasn’t until a friend asked me point-blank if I was going to Uganda that I realized this was something I had to explore.
Excuses, questions, and self-doubt flooded my mind. Wouldn’t it make more sense to wait until next year, when I would have more time to prepare? Shouldn’t I pay off outstanding debts from my long unemployment period before I buy a plane ticket to Africa? Would it look bad to take vacation days after just being hired a few months ago? There were too many required vaccinations to schedule. I couldn’t find my passport.
Once I let these fears and doubts take hold, there was no stopping them, and the excuses became more and more absurd.
I don’t own a safari hat. I’ve seen Taken and I know it’s never wise to venture into a new country unless Liam Neeson is your father. Nor have I been trained to fight off giant killing mosquitoes. What if I see things that make me depressed? The screen on my phone is shattered; what’s the point of going to Africa if I can’t even take good pictures? I don’t want to miss my fantasy football draft. My apartment is too messy. If only I didn’t tithe I would have more money to go on a mission trip. Even if I get there, I won’t even know what to say or do to help these people.
And then some people in my life started adding their voices to all the voices already in my head. I was told I was being reckless, and over-confident, and foolish for committing to something I couldn’t afford. Another person called me arrogant for proceeding as if I already had the funds. Were they right? Had I let pride and stubbornness get the best of me?
But there were also voices of truth and encouragement. Six months prior, I had heard a podcast from Saddleback Church, titled “Seizing Spiritual Opportunities,” that said “if you have the time, commit to a missions trip and God will provide the funds. A claim as bold as that is hard to forget.
I was also reading the book Love Does, which was only fanning the fire with crazy ideas. A couple of days after I put that book down, I was listening to a random podcast on my phone and I heard the speaker quote a line from Love Does:
“God asks what it is He’s made us to love, what it is that captures our attention, what feeds that deep indescribable need of our souls to experience the richness of the world He made. And then leaning over us, He whispers, ‘Let’s go do that together.'”
It wasn’t until I went back to reading Love Does that I saw that same quote staring back at me — right where I had left off. (Till this day I still don’t remember downloading that podcast to my phone.) The chapter was about how you don’t need prerequisites or a plan; just an idea, an invitation without a lot of details, and “a willingness to go into a storm with a Father who’s kicking footholds into the steep sides of our problems while we kick a couple in ourselves too.”
I didn’t know why I wanted to go, I just had a feeling there was something that I would see, something that God could show me, something amazing that would re-awaken passions within me.
“You can get further guidance from what comes together or not. Maybe God wants to see if you are willing,” my mom advised.
Once I committed to the trip, everything seemed to fall into place. My parents, who I half-hoped would dissuade me, supported my trip, despite other loans I have yet to pay them back for. My bosses contributed financially and also equipped me with a phone with a phenomenal camera. I found my passport in a drawer that I swear I looked in a thousand times and had its renewal expedited in a matter of days. Hoboken Grace bought me time to launch my fundraising campaign, and in a single week my financial goal became a reality. Four days before my trip, I had managed to raise $3,500!
I received support from the most unpredictable sources. And it was even more incredible to find out how God had been working in other people’s hearts and using my need as their opportunity to love and take that new step of faith. God was never absent, apathetic or angry. He was busy moving mountains that flew right over my head.
“If you want to boast, boast only about the LORD,” (1Corinthians 1:31).
“For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die,” (Philippians 1:20).
I was all in whether it meant I was to die or go bankrupt. In the midst of external opposition, if I had continued looking at my circumstances realistically, sensibly, logically, I would have missed my miracle. I think this is what is meant when the Bible says we are to hold onto God’s promises.
I RSVP’d yes, and found myself on an adventure I’m still trying to put into words.
Do you feel called to serve abroad? This Sunday is Missions Sunday. Come learn about the exciting and challenging mission trips we have planned for 2016. God may have a miracle planned for you. You just need to say “yes.”
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