Whether it is the excitement of getting married or the stress of a frustrating friend situation, relationships can bring out the best in us and the worst.

So, how do we C.A.R.E. for our coworkers and group members who are experiencing the excitement or stress of relationships (marriage) in their lives?

C.A.R.E.S.

CRISIS – Understanding the Stress of Relationships

Getting married, moving in with new roommates, or dealing with family can bring joy and stress to our lives. Relational joys and stressors are inevitable because we are human.

 According to pastor and author, Pete Scazzero, the highs and lows of our relationships are often influenced by an individual’s emotional health. Here are symptoms of someone who may be struggling emotionally and relationally:

1. 1. Defensive/Blaming
   2. Low Self-Awareness
   3. Anger/Fear
   4. Self-Absorbed
   5. Addiction
   6. Dishonesty

APPLICATION – Practical Suggestions for Caring

LOOK – Celebrate with your group member who is experiencing the joy of a recent engagement or new relationship! And be on the lookout for a group member who might be relationally stressed. They may be stressed if you notice any of these symptoms:

• • Make cynical comments about people in their lives
  • Speak negatively about their family
  • Seems a little more intense around holidays and vacations
  • Exert more energy for after-work social hour than their actual job
  • Seem distracted and distant

ASK – Sometimes our group members need us to reflect back to them how they are coming across:

• • You seem a little stressed about the holidays. Is everything ok?
  • You seem a little defensive. Is something bothering you?
  • You seem a little distracted. Is there something going on that you want to talk about?

LISTEN – Be available just to listen to your group member or coworker talk about their excitement or their stress. Avoid sharing your own wedding planning experience or relational stress unless they ask for it or it seems appropriate to do so.

REFERENCE – What Does the Bible Say About God’s Response?

• • Matthew 22:37-40: Loving others is a command, not just a suggestion.
  • 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: How to love others.
  • 1 John 4:17-19: Why we love others.

ENGAGE – Next Steps for Engaging Your Group Member

OFFER any support you are able to give – a few minutes to celebrate with them at the start or end of your day or a listening ear over coffee or lunch.

CONNECT them to Hoboken Grace’s Merge Class or Financial Peace University if they are getting married, OR if they are struggling, connect them to the Care Team if they need outside perspective.

SHARE the link to Hoboken Grace Online as a way to relieve stress.

SUGGEST they reach out to care@hobokengrace.com if they need pastoral care or other means of support.

PRAY for your group member and their relationships.

Return to Care Guides

Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash