Just Friends

If you haven’t seen the movie, “Just Friends” it’s about a guy who grew up immediately placed in the friend zone by a girl that he was in love with or thought he was in love with (as much as you can be at 16). That’s only part of the movie but it’s the part that sticks out to me when I think about how my now husband (Jon) and I started out. Well, slight difference, neither of us was interested in each other. Although I was actively dating, I was not interested in him and he was on a break from dating. Pastor Chris has talked about this practice many times in the past. (This series is really good!)

A mutual friend (SHOUT OUT TO NICK LENZI!) introduced us at a connection event at House of Que. I, of course, had previously looked him up on Facebook and so when we met he felt it was okay to say “Oh you’re the girl who friend requested me on Facebook.” (Yeah, he said that!) Embarrassed and annoyed, I immediately put him in the friend zone and moved on. I wasn’t attracted to him and I later found out the feeling was mutual. It wasn’t until another connection event several months later that we reconnected. That evening, we talked a lot and I really enjoyed it. He was cool, friendly, and funny. We had a lot in common — but still, I kept him in the friend zone. That night he mentioned he was on a Zog sports volleyball team and I had already been entertaining the idea of joining one of those teams. My intention was to meet more single people — not because I was good at volleyball … at all. So, he invited me to join his team and I said sure.

The first game quickly came and I immediately regretted my decision. I wasn’t necessarily athletic or good at volleyball, and I didn’t know anyone on the team. Honestly, I was pretty nervous, but Jon made sure I was comfortable. He would walk with me to the game, encouraged me when it was my turn to serve, and if I messed up he let me know it was okay. He helped me to get to know his teammates and always made me laugh. He always walked me home after the games because it was so late but still, he was just my friend. During this time I’d see him at church and connection events and we always chatted. We were in different friend circles but we still maintained a friendship. 

Fast forward a few months and Jon was late to a game. He was never late to a game. I overheard our teammates saying, “Jon is probably on a date. I think he said he was going on a date before the game.” All of a sudden I was upset. Like really upset. I was angry. And I actually remember thinking to myself, “Why wouldn’t he ask me out? Who is this girl he went on a date with?  He has some nerve going on a date!” But who was I to say or think these things? I didn’t even like him in that way…. right? Well no sooner than I was doing my self-talk did I turn around and he came happily strolling in. He came right over to me and sat down. I was so annoyed and didn’t even want to look at him. He started to talk and I did not want to catch up with him about his week or his date but he said, “I just had the best meeting with my dinner group coach and I am so excited about leading a dinner group!” And that’s when I knew. At that moment, I REALIZED my heart HAD changed towards him. I was overcome with happiness for him and realized at that moment that I had a crush on him. 

You see, over the few months that we played volleyball together, I got to see his character demonstrated over and over again. I saw how he treated his friends, I saw how he responded in stressful situations, I saw how he handled losing games (mostly because of me), I heard about his work situations and how he handled them, I heard about his family, I saw how passionate he was about God and leading a dinner group — and I saw him time and time again put my needs over his own convenience. I had fallen for this guy and I was shocked! 

Honestly, I’ve heard Pastor Chris talk about spiritual chemistry before but I’m not actually sure I believed it before Jon. I had always based my dating decisions on looks, career, shared hobbies, etc… But with Jon, it was completely backward. I fell in love with him first because of his character and our spiritual chemistry and then I desired to date him! And let me just say that I hit the jackpot. Boy, did I have that whole dating thing wrong! Jon and I have been married for 6 years and have two boys and God reminds me DAILY that this was His plan for me and it truly is the best! It’s not perfect but it’s so good.

If you haven’t gotten the chance to watch or listen to our last series Dating Apps, check it out here!

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