Some of our group members may be the primary or assistant caregiver of an aging parent or loved one.

So, how do we C.A.R.E. for our group members who are dealing with the stress of being a caregiver?

C.A.R.E.S.

CRISIS – Understanding the Stress of Caregiving

One of the most universally challenging roles a person can assume is that of being a caregiver to a loved one. And did you know that over 40 million Americans serve as family caregivers, providing daily unpaid support to an aging family member?

Caring for an aging loved one can take a heavy toll on the caregiver and the family, and there are significant emotional, vocational, and financial concerns. Caregivers often have to quit their jobs, take early retirement, or have a leave of absence. Here are some recent stats about caregivers.

1. 1. 75% say caregiving is a source of pride because they make a difference in the life of their loved one
   2. 74% say their jobs are impacted
   3. 69% say caring for a loved one is the #1 source of stress in their lives
   4. 60% are worried about the financial impact caregiving will have on their savings
   5. 58% provide more than 10 hours of care for a loved one each week
   6. 42% spend well over $5,000 each year “out-of-pocket” to provide care for their loved one
   7. 27% are in the “Sandwich Generation” – caring for their children as well as aging parents
   8. 1 in 4 caregivers say family relationships have suffered because of caregiving responsibilities
   9. 3 in 5 caregivers share a home with the loved one for whom they provide care

APPLICATION – Practical Suggestions for Caring

LOOK– Realize your group member may actually need time to grieve the loss of what life looked like before caring for their parents. They may need to go through the five stages of grief:

• • Denial: My parents will get better soon
  • Anger: Why do I have to be the one to take care of them?
  • Bargaining (with God): Release me from this, God, and I will do whatever else you want me to do, just not this!
  • Depression: I’m so sad, frustrated, angry, disappointed that this is my life now.
  • Acceptance: I’m at peace with our new phase of life, and I will do whatever it takes to care for my aging parents to the best of my ability. It is what it is.

ASK – Sometimes our group members  need our empathy and positive encouragement. And your questions can help them think ahead or think outside of themselves:

• • How’s your mom or dad doing today?
  • What is it like to be taking care of your parents? Is that hard?
  • What can I do to support you?

LISTEN – Be available just to listen to your group member talk about whatever they need to share, including stories about their parents, in the present and past.

REFERENCE – What Does the Bible Say About Caregiving?

• • Ecclesiastes 3:1-8: This is just a season
  • Matthew 11:28-30: God sees us when we are tired and weary
  • Philippians 4:10-13: God gives us strength

ENGAGE – Next Steps For Engaging Your Group Member

OFFER affirmative and positive feedback but don’t assume you know how your group member feels, because you don’t. Give grace and encourage them.

CONNECT with them in a fun way to escape  the stress of this season like morning coffee or lunch with friends, where conversation is light, funny and interesting.

SUGGEST a Counselor if they are really struggling or need an outside perspective. Invite them to attend a Hoboken Grace Church service with you. And if they enjoy reading, give them the gift of a helpful resource, such as:

• • The Caregiving Season: Finding Grace to Honor Your Aging Parents by Jane Daly
  • While They’re Still Here: A Memoir by Patricia Williams

PRAY for your group member, their aging parent, and the details of their caregiving situation.

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Photo by Georg Arthur Pflueger on Unsplash