
Have you ever felt a nudge to invite someone to church? Maybe it was a friend, a family member, a neighbor, or someone you don’t even know so well.

Sometimes inviting someone to church for the first time can feel intimidating. Other times we may find ourselves saying no for people, thinking they wouldn’t be interested or many times we may get too caught up in what they may think. However, as we’ve learned from previous Sundays, no one is beyond God’s reach and we shouldn’t say no for someone on behalf of God!

Is there anyone you’re saying no for?

A while back, I had felt a strong nudge to invite a friend to church, but it took me longer than it should have to take the step of inviting my friend to come on a Sunday with me. I’m not sure if you’ve ever felt like this, but sometimes I can put things off, waiting for ‘the perfect moment’ and many times I let doubts or overthinking get in my way. However, I’ve been learning to say yes, trust in God, and let Him do the rest!

So I took the step and invited my friend a couple of Sundays ago, and I’m so glad I did! I just sent a simple text saying – Hey, do you want to join me at my church on Sunday and then we can get brunch after! It was such a cool moment when we sat down to eat after church and she told me how much she loved it. She had never experienced a church like Hoboken Grace before or knew that a place like that existed. She was really excited to come back!

It was also a special opportunity for me to be able to share more about my faith, how God has been working in my life, and my involvement at Hoboken Grace. Who knows what seeds were planted in her heart that day, and what could come from a simple invitation!

Whether it’s saying yes to inviting someone to church or a dinner group, or sharing your story – so much can happen when we step out of our comfort zone and follow where God is calling us!

Easter is an amazing opportunity for you to invite someone to join you at Hoboken Grace. Many people who wouldn’t typically attend on another Sunday will say yes to coming on Easter! You never know the impact it can have in someone’s life – and this could be the first time they are hearing that no matter what they’ve done or where they’ve been God loves them, is pursuing them, and wants a relationship with them!

Who is God putting on your heart to invite this Easter… or any Sunday?

I’m encouraging you to say yes and to leave your doubts behind! Don’t wait until the last minute, make the invitation this week!

To check out our Good Friday and Easter service times go to [hobokengrace.com/easter](http://hobokengrace.com/easter).


The Power Of An Invitation


Have you ever felt a nudge to invite someone to church? Maybe it was a friend, a family member, a neighbor, or someone you don’t even know so well.

Sometimes inviting someone to church for the first time can feel intimidating. Other times we may find ourselves saying no for people, thinking they wouldn’t be interested or many times we may get too caught up in what they may think. However, as we’ve learned from previous Sundays, no one is beyond God’s reach and we shouldn’t say no for someone on behalf of God!

Is there anyone you’re saying no for?

A while back, I had felt a strong nudge to invite a friend to church, but it took me longer than it should have to take the step of inviting my friend to come on a Sunday with me. I’m not sure if you’ve ever felt like this, but sometimes I can put things off, waiting for ‘the perfect moment’ and many times I let doubts or overthinking get in my way. However, I’ve been learning to say yes, trust in God, and let Him do the rest!

So I took the step and invited my friend a couple of  Sundays ago, and I’m so glad I did! I just sent a simple text saying – Hey, do you want to join me at my church on Sunday and then we can get brunch after! It was such a cool moment when we sat down to eat after church and she told me how much she loved it. She had never experienced a church like Hoboken Grace before or knew that a place like that existed. She was really excited to come back!

It was also a special opportunity for me to be able to share more about my faith, how God has been working in my life, and my involvement at Hoboken Grace. Who knows what seeds were planted in her heart that day, and what could come from a simple invitation!

Whether it’s saying yes to inviting someone to church or a dinner group, or sharing your story – so much can happen when we step out of our comfort zone and follow where God is calling us!

Easter is an amazing opportunity for you to invite someone to join you at Hoboken Grace. Many people who wouldn’t typically attend on another Sunday will say yes to coming on Easter! You never know the impact it can have in someone’s life – and this could be the first time they are hearing that no matter what they’ve done or where they’ve been God loves them, is pursuing them, and wants a relationship with them!

Who is God putting on your heart to invite this Easter… or any Sunday?

I’m encouraging you to say yes and to leave your doubts behind! Don’t wait until the last minute, make the invitation this week!

To check out our Good Friday and Easter service times go to [hobokengrace.com/easter](https://hobokengrace.com/easter).



This past Sunday, Pastor Chris went through the passage in scripture, found in Ephesians, that underpins a practice we call “Put Off / Put On.” The practice recognizes that when we have an unhealthy behavior it is not enough to simply stop or “put off” that behavior. Instead, it’s equally important for us to replace them or “put on” healthy behaviors that are the result of God’s truth. (We have a helpful worksheet you can work through below in regards to “Put Off/Put On”)

In one example, Pastor Chris said if someone has an idol of work and achievement, it probably isn’t enough for the person to simply work less – instead, the person might need to refuse the next promotion! Radical stuff. He calls this undermining the lie – I might go further and call it slaying the idol.

I believe this is why God introduces generosity and giving. I want to tell you a quick story:

The year would have been 2010 because my daughter, Kaylee, was about 18 months old. We had just come back from grocery shopping and I prepared a small bowl of grapes for her to snack on.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2023/03/Screen-Shot-2023-03-24-at-12.48.37-PM.png)

She loved grapes and was inhaling them when I playfully asked her for a piece. Seeing what was in front of her, she decided that she didn’t have enough and refused to give me half a grape.

As a loving father who wants the best for her, I used the moment as a parenting opportunity and made her share a grape with me – by taking it all away.

It wasn’t pretty (nor quiet)…

After the waterworks ended and she had calmed down from her first experience of learning the act of giving and sharing, even if not the whole principle, I went to the fridge and got a lot more grapes out for all of us to eat together and all was well again with the world. Kaylee is now 14 and I’m happy to say that she is generally great at sharing!

It’s an experience that has stayed with me all these years because I learned a lot more than my daughter that day. I realized that Kaylee’s experience with grapes mirrors a lot our relationship with God and giving – we forget that God owns the entire universe and that He asks us to give and be generous for our sake – because He loves us and wants us to live freely.

This is obviously easier said than done – we recognize that and we don’t want you to do it alone. We have a brand new, safe environment to explore this topic called the Journey of Generosity (JOG). It takes place over two half-days (Friday afternoon/evening and Saturday morning) and is one of my favorite resources on stewardship. The unique thing about it is it’s an environment in which nobody is allowed to solicit, fundraise or even advocate for a particular cause.

To sign up or find out more information, click [here](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/1688495) or email me at [vinny@hobokengrace.com](mailto:vinny@hobokengrace.com).

To learn more on working through “Put Off/Put On” check out this document [here](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/11/Put-Off-Put-On-Worksheet.pdf).


“Putting Off” Discontentment And “Putting On” Generosity

This past Sunday, we celebrated one of the cutest Sundays of the year- our Grace Kid’s Pajama Jam! Having lost an hour of sleep on daylight savings, we wanted to make the morning easier for our families. So we invited them to bring their kids in their pajamas for a morning of fun at Grace Kids! We celebrated in many special ways including sleepover-themed games, crafts, and a ton of fun activities.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2023/03/52747923024_41d3a0137e_o.jpg)

From dinosaurs, to donuts, to Frozen- the kids were excited to come comfy and show off their favorite pajamas! Our Grace Kids teachers also had on special pajama shirts to join in on the fun! They quickly forgot about the hour of sleep we lost after seeing the smiles and excitement on the kid’s faces as they walked through the door wearing their pjs!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2023/03/52748096240_afef6621dd_o.jpg)

As the kids entered their classrooms, they were eager to get started on their first craft of the day- a paper lantern with cutout stars that they were given to decorate with markers and a lot of stickers!! They had a blast and were also given a mini fake candle to put inside, which added extra excitement as they saw their lanterns light up.

In addition to our crafts, we also had board games, lots of books, and a short movie!

Some of the kids got to enjoy toilet paper roll races–(that we recommended not to try at home!)

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2023/03/52747685391_4446dc4542_o.jpg)

There was a lot of laughter that filled up our Clubhouse classrooms (Kindergarten through 5th grade), as the kids all played charades together!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2023/03/52748176968_346d72d390_o.jpg)

Even our babies & crawlers classroom were able to join in on the fun!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2023/03/52748173088_0eb2588105_k.jpg)

We ended the day by sending the kids home with their crafts and a goodie bag of popcorn!

It was also an awesome opportunity for kids to invite their friends and experience Grace Kids for the first time! We loved being able to welcome in our first-time families and share more about Hoboken Grace and Grace Kids. It was also special because we handed out our Easter invites for the first time, which was an awesome opportunity to reach new families and invite them to one of the biggest celebrations of the year- Easter!

To learn more about Grace Kids: [hobokengrace.com/kids](https://hobokengrace.com/kids/)

Think you may be interested in serving on the Grace Kids team: [find out more here](https://hobokengrace2017.typeform.com/to/Xbsrsw?typeform-source=hobokengrace.com)!

To learn more about our upcoming Easter Services: [hobokengrace.com/easter](http://hobokengrace.com/easter)


Pajama Jam Recap 2023


If you’re new here, hi! My name is Dana, and I’m the Service Programming Director at Hoboken Grace. I oversee our band and production teams, and you’ll often find me leading worship on Sundays. I’ve been in this role for 9 years and serving in various capacities for years before that.

I remember early in my time at Hoboken Grace, I was serving in the band as a vocalist, while working multiple jobs in the city. I should take a moment to explain that this looked totally different than what you see now at Hoboken Grace. We had music stands, our mics had obnoxious cables attached that I tripped over, there were no fancy lights or curtains on the stage, and the lyrics were just projected onto the back wall of the stage with a projector that sat on a table on the stage. It was something! But it got the job done.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2023/03/8574989830_f804769a32_c-1.jpg)

At the time, Pastor Chris decided to take our leaders to a conference in California called Catalyst. I didn’t really know what I was getting into, but I was invited. I wasn’t totally sure why they felt I should go, I was just a singer.

At the conference, the music was amazing. I mean, it opened with a beatboxing cellist, who you may be familiar with from the now famous Pentatonix. We were led in worship by some absolute legends, including Joel Houston, Israel Houghton and Darlene Zschech. At the time I had a faint idea who these people were, but was not super familiar with this kind of worship experience. I had had some similar experiences at college but nothing at this level of excellence or production value.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2023/03/575529_401957986494933_742211303_n.jpg)

Night one, Joel was leading us through the song With Everything. Thousands of people were singing their heart out to God, and raising their hands. I remember having no problem singing loud with everyone, but for some reason I could not find the courage to lift my hands.

Why was that so ridiculously intimidating?

Let’s unpack this for a minute, and maybe this will resonate with you.

1. **I was making it about everyone BUT God**. In that moment I was feeling tension with raising my hands because I wasn’t totally sure why I wanted to raise them. I hadn’t worshiped physically like this before so this was new. I could feel a pull in the pit of my stomach to just do it. And yet I couldn’t. I was uncomfortable because I hadn’t ventured there with God before and was more worried about what other people would think of me raising my hands than I was about what God would think about it.
2. **I was letting the enemy mess with my head**. There’s nothing the enemy would want more than for you to be in a room full of people worshipping his arch nemesis and for you to freeze. That would mean he’s winning. And in that moment in that room, for a minute, he was fighting hard to win. He was convincing me that what was more important was for me to stay comfortable and keep my hands folded together than it was for me to let go and worship Jesus. 1 Peter 5:8 says that the enemy, “…prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” Isn’t it sad how the enemy can take such a small moment and make it so big in our heads? That small moment turned into an absolute battle for my mind and heart.

As the song went on (and it was a long one) something different started to happen. As I sat in the tension of whether to raise my hands, God began to just quietly soften my heart as I sang. With each refrain I felt more and more how very present God was with me, even in this small moment of internal struggle. And I felt how much He just wanted to spend this time WITH me. That closeness and gentleness slowly put me more and more at ease.

And then, in the darkness and loudness of that room of thousands of people, I raised my hands.

I mean, my arms were basically just bent with my hands barely at shoulder level, but they were up! Was I completely comfortable right away? No. I was totally muscling through and even hoping the song was over soon (and it wasn’t, that song is like really long when they do it live). But was I more truthfully worshipping Jesus the way He was nudging me to? Yes! I raised my hands to make it about HIM and not about me or anyone else.

If you see me on Sundays now you may question if I’m the same person I described in this story. My hands are up all the time. And that’s because it’s a constant reminder to me that He is in control, that He is faithful, that He is the Lord of my life in all things, and that HE is who we are singing to. Even when I don’t feel those things, raising my hands helps put God in an elevated place in my heart and life. It’s a trigger that tells the rest of me – my heart, soul and mind – that I am here to worship Him.

Next time you’re at church and you feel that nudge or that pull to do something outside your comfort zone in worship, take the leap! It can be clunky. It can be awkward. But eventually it will just be familiar, like coming home.

Not ready for that yet? I get it. Try spending time in worship on your own first. In the car. While making dinner. Maybe in the shower (I mean, the acoustics are great in there!). If you need a starting place, grab the [Hoboken Grace Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5Flm1wCBrEzo1guCwzm2n7?si=f3ac82ac66224d8a&nd=1), find a song you resonate with and start there. Just you and Jesus. Enjoy where He leads you.


“I Throw My Hands Up In The Air Sometimes…”


At Hoboken Grace, we love celebrating impactful moments like baptisms. This time, at our 15th birthday celebration, we had the honor of seeing more people take that massive step in their faith.

Regardless of who you are, God is constantly pursuing you. He seeks to show you the many ways in which He can use you. Brenna recently realized this. Ever since witnessing her first adult baptism at Hoboken Grace, she felt moved to take that next step in her faith.

The Story Team recently sat down with Brenna to learn a little bit more about her baptism.

**Story Team:** What was the feeling like when you got baptized?

**Brenna:** Although the day was filled with several mixed emotions of excitement and nerves, I did experience a distinct moment of clarity and peace after coming up from the water. I remember being completely overwhelmed by a joy I don’t think I have ever experienced before. I smiled and cried happy tears as I joined in on the celebration around me. There was no doubt in me that God was in the room.

**Story Team:** Who was up there with you?

**Brenna:** I was blessed enough to be surrounded by 4 special girls from my dinner group; one of them was also getting baptized alongside me that day. While the girls stood up there by my side, I had a ton of family and friends looking on from their seats. My parents and sisters, aunts and uncles, friends, cousins, all came out to celebrate this with me. I truly don’t think I have ever felt so loved. It was a core memory I will hold with me forever.

**Story Team:** For another Hoboken Grace community member who may be thinking about taking this step, what would you say to them?

**Brenna:** I say, absolutely. If the thought of getting baptized is being placed on your heart, trust that it is God’s will for you and take that step of faith. You may experience some fear and doubt but trust in your decision and lean in on your community. All of that will fall away in the moment. We are called to be baptized, being able to make this decision as an adult and make that public display of my faith has helped me strengthen and grow my relationship with God in so many ways.

**Story Team:** What made you take the step of baptism?

**Brenna:** Growing up in a different church, I was baptized as a baby and that was all I knew. When I started attending Hoboken Grace in October, I was able to witness my first adult baptism and it completely moved me. I knew almost instantly that it was something I wanted to do. I spent a lot of my life hiding my faith but as I deepened my relationship with God, I knew I wanted to step out in my faith in a public way in order to show it is now the biggest part of who I am.

_If you have any questions about baptism,_ [_‘What is Baptism_](https://hobokengrace.com/baptism/)_‘ is held after every service on the first Sunday of the month!_


Baptism: A Moment Of Clarity


Our 15th birthday celebration on Sunday was surely a day to remember! It was a day full of celebration, laughs, and tears as we recounted all that God has done over these past 15 years.

Over the last couple of weeks, all of our teams have worked so hard preparing for this special day. They poured so much time, energy, and love into our 15th birthday and we are so thankful for each and every person who helped to make this day possible!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2023/02/52686222930_571408d322_o-1.jpg)

Our 1st Impressions team spent hours setting up the space at 301 Garden – decking it out with hundreds of balloons they put together themselves, fun sparkling apple cider drinks, and mini cupcakes. We even had a DJ!

As soon as you walked in the door we had 4-foot light-up 15 numbers beside a giant 8 ft mosaic made up of all of our baptism photos over the years (there were 5,000 tiny photos from almost 500 baptisms!). Our Equip team put so much work into collecting all of our baptism photos over the last 15 years that went into the mosaic and that were strung all around the hallways. There were so many special details to the day!

It was so encouraging to see all of our teams working so hard together towards the same mission, as everyone was filled with so much excitement in making the day one to remember!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2023/02/52686291738_ed5d7ef1f6_o-1.jpg)

For the first time ever, we launched Hoboken Grace sweatshirts! We had a little shop in our “parent’s corner” and you could also buy them through our app. We loved seeing the excitement on everyone’s faces as they saw our merchandise for the first time and were buying sweatshirts for themselves and their loved ones!

Shoutout to our technology team for all the behind-the-scenes work they put into making our online store and for everything running so seamlessly! Head to our app and click ’15th Birthday Sweaters’ on our homepage to check them out!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2023/02/52685793596_8a451dfe3f_o-1.jpg)

A huge part of who we are at Hoboken Grace is our stories and being able to share how God is working in our lives and through us! However, one story that we’ve missed is Pastor Chris and his wife, Ana’s story!

So Anthony sat down with them to ask them questions about starting Hoboken Grace, their journey along the way**,** to where it is now. We got to text in questions for them to answer and hear personal stories of both struggle and triumph and hear how God met them through it all over the last 15 years.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2023/02/52685282082_7c30086e47_o.jpg)

The band led us in some powerful worship songs as we got to celebrate together all that God has done! We ended the celebration with an amazing mashup from all of our favorite songs from Sunday.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2023/02/52686075354_3e963c905c_o-1.jpg)

And of course we can’t forget about the confetti canons that went off during our last song! (Which may have at first startled some of us 😊)

We have so many teams that work behind the scenes that you don’t necessarily see, that put so much work into making Sundays what they are! Our Service Programing and Production team do so much to make our services so special and they keep outdoing themselves!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2023/02/52686292113_2c08ac2bb1_o-2.jpg)

Another thing that made the Sunday even more special is the three baptisms we had! It is such an honor that we got to see these three individuals take this big step in their faith and celebrate them!! We can’t wait to see how God continues to move in their lives and how they will impact His Kingdom!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2023/02/52686291528_1ef4a4599a_o-1.jpg)

Last but not least, we also got to celebrate 20 years of Pastor Chris being in ministry! We are so grateful for him and his wife Ana’s faithfulness to God and following God into His mission for their life! We are so thankful for the way they have selflessly poured into this community and to helping people find their way back to God.

It was such a special day and we are so glad you got to be a part of it with us, whether you joined us in person or online! These last 15 years couldn’t have been possible without the way you serve, love, and give your time. We are so thankful for the people we’ve been able to reach, the love we’ve been able to pour out into our city, and the lives we’ve been able to impact along the way. We can’t wait to see how God is going to continue working and moving in our lives and through Hoboken Grace.


A Birthday Celebration To Remember


We sat down with Dave, who has been serving on the 1st Impressions Team for over 6 years. He is our set-up and tear-down leader and plays an instrumental role in helping to make Sundays what they are! We get to hear about his journey of serving over the last 6 years and what he is looking forward to with the new space. We are so grateful for the way that he has served and loved this community!

**Story Team**: As Hoboken Grace’s 15th birthday approaches, how has the church grown since you have been a part of it? How long have you been a part of it?

**Dave**: I started attending in 2016, so for over 6 years now. Church for me, in terms of community, has grown immensely. We started out sitting in the back and just watching from the outside. However, ever since becoming a leader, getting involved with Dinner Group, and creating more connections and friends, Hoboken Grace has become a community and a family. Numbers wise, we have grown as well, seeing an adaptation and evolution to tailor the online experience. The community took a hit during COVID. I can attest to that, being intimately involved with the changes in seating charts (and Lawn Layouts); but we are fairly close now to pre-COVID attendance and what we have grown online!

**Story Team**: When setting up Hoboken Grace each Sunday, what challenges do you face?

**Dave**: The two biggest challenges are how to continue to grow and improve the experience while managing and leaning on the same quantity of folks that serve. The setup team fluctuates, so it’s tough to keep folks trained while being able to try to limit how much regular folks serve. The other is space. We are simply out of storage space both for storing the items we need on Sundays and the items that we need during the week (which are stored during Sunday service on top of the items that the school leaves out.) We are thankfully now able to provide a middle school and high school program! But we also need to store all those items for our Sunday service. We have certainly grown in that aspect while keeping the same (if not less) number of hands that can help each Sunday.

**Story Team**: You have been an instrumental leader in making Hoboken Grace what it stands for today. What drives you to do what you do?

**Dave**: I won’t give myself any credit for what we stand for; I follow the core values which are ultimately based on The Word and what it is to be a Christian. We have an exceptional group of leaders that drive what it is to serve, to be a leader, and to be a member of the community in all aspects. I am simply driven by the fact that my simple service on Sundays can ultimately have an impact on a person’s life. If putting in a few hours on Sundays can save someone, then that’s all I can strive for and hope for.

**Story Team:** Do you have any idea of how your role will be different in the new location?

**Dave**: No idea as of now. We are building a flexible community center so some aspect of setup and teardown will likely be necessary. My hope is that such service roles are available as they are key to building team members. I think the 1st Impressions team is a great entry-level for all members.

**Story Team**: With this new location, what are your hopes of what it will bring to the community?

**Dave**: Not to be cliche, but simply put, a sense of belonging and home. A place for the currently growing future generation to develop fully at all ages and become a key figure in our community or other communities.

To hear more on Dave’s story check it out[ here](https://youtu.be/CIKbNT8cI-E)!


The Impact Of Serving On A Team


Dear Hoboken Grace Family,

I often look back and wonder if I truly had any idea of what this journey would be like. When we started Hoboken Grace 15 years ago, I was 23 years old and Chris was 28; we had been married for 9 months when we moved to Hoboken in March of 2007 — our dream was to plant a church here. At 23 moving to the hottest cities in the state as a newlywed, life could not get any better! We loved everything about this city – our tiny apartment, the people, the pace of life, the restaurants – ALL of it. Sure we didn’t have any money for that tiny apartment or for all those restaurants, but at 23 that was a minor detail.

As we would eventually find out, this journey of church planting, of following God wherever He calls you is most definitely an experience full of valleys and of mountaintops. As the years have flown by, some experiences and lessons have definitely shaped me, the way I look at the world, and the mission and purpose we find in Christ.

The first thing that comes to mind that I have learned, experienced, and seen, is that our God is a God of provision. I wish we could sit over a cup of coffee and I could share with you story after story of how I have seen God come through over the last 15 years. The stories would amaze you! We would laugh a lot and we would cry because eventually, I would tell you that I can see His faithfulness and provision in your life, in your story. I would tell you that you can trust Him because there is nothing about Hoboken Grace (or me!!) that exists outside of His grace and goodness. Hoboken Grace is here, after 15 years, because He is good and because of you. You stepped into this family and decided to be part of it. You have served, you have made sacrifices, you have shared what you have been given, and you have created a community unlike any other. He provided YOU and it changed everything. Thank you so much for being here, friend.

The second and most important thing I have learned, the one thing I hope you don’t miss in my story, is that I have come to know deep in my soul that Jesus is ENOUGH. He is ENOUGH for me. That lesson does not come in the mountaintop experiences, it is usually forged in the valleys. It is created in the moments when you question everything, when circumstances beg you to throw in the towel, when life is convincing you that following God is not worth it, or that you don’t have anything to offer. It is in those moments that your heart cries out with all your needs and He meets you there. Over the past 15 years, He has met me over and over again. That alone makes the last 15 years the best years. At the end of the day, He is the prize, He is the reward, and He is worth everything. My joy comes when I see you awaken to that reality and I get to sit back and watch Him use you. There is nothing quite like it.

The stories we’ve heard, and the changed hearts we have witnessed together are miracles. I can’t believe God has allowed me to see that and be part of that for 15 years now. His story is the best story and we get to be part of it!

Happy Birthday, Hoboken Grace. You mean the world to me.


A Letter To Hoboken Grace


I found Hoboken Grace through a friend I met in November of 2020\. I knew I was looking to join a home-church of my own and knew I wanted to serve children in hopes of being part of something that would make God’s Word accessible and understandable to children of all needs. When my friend heard I was looking for a church of my own, he mentioned his own, Hoboken Grace. I joined online for the first time that November and have attended weekly ever since.

I attended in-person for the first time in January of 2021\. It was the first time I had been back to a Sunday service in-person since the start of the pandemic, and I very quickly realized how imperative in-person worship was for my walk with God. Seeing others serve on teams was inspiring to me, and I knew God was tugging on my heart to serve more. In the fall of 2021, I received an email about a one-time childcare opportunity available on a Saturday for a church event. I thought this would be a great opportunity to serve with the kids’ team.

I showed up that Saturday not knowing what to expect. I did not know too many other people or anything about the program. I was warmly welcomed and informed that our first child who arrived happened to be on the Autism spectrum, and her “buddy” unexpectedly could no longer make it to serve. I believe it was no coincidence that we were in the same room that day; I have personal and professional experience working with children with special needs and was thrilled to get to serve as this child’s “buddy” for the day.

This was one of the biggest things I was impressed by with the Hoboken Grace Kids program: that all children were accounted for and planned for in order to feel loved, safe, and included throughout every activity. That Grace Kids’ considers so many aspects of support and embodies acceptance. They take steps to ensure that all children have the opportunity to grow their faith authentically and walk toward knowing God more. Needless to say, I volunteered regularly with Grace Kids after that first day, and I have been a teacher in the Fours & Pre-K room ever since.

It is truly amazing how God brings purpose to every part of our paths. Supporting children with all needs and abilities has been a passion of mine my whole life: I have a sibling with different needs, which led me to volunteer and internship work with nonprofits supporting others with special needs. That led me to pursuing a career of speech-language pathology, which eventually led me right here. When the conversation around the open position of Family Support Leader came up recently, I could not help but think back to conversations with my friend in November 2020\. It felt like God couldn’t tell me any louder that this was a “yes”. That all of my prior and present experiences could serve Him, get to know Him, and love others better in this new way.

As Family Support Leader, my hope is to help continue to make Grace Kids’ and God’s word accessible to children of all needs and abilities. I am really excited to get to work with families to make sure that both children and parents know that they are in a safe, supportive community and environment that fosters getting to know and planting deeper roots in God’s word. My hope is to help continue to build a team of people to create that supportive, inclusive environment.

I also hope to help lead a team of new “buddies” knowing that they are supported all along the way. Being a “buddy” means being partnered 1:1 with a child who benefits from additional support throughout the morning at Grace Kids. However, being a “buddy” does not require any previous experience beyond being passionate about working with kids and being open to new ideas. I am excited to build a diverse team of people who are excited to help all children grow closer to and get to know God better in a way so unique and individualized to them.

My hope is sharing my own story and path so far encourages you to reflect on yours. Maybe God has been tugging on your heart the same way I felt He was tugging mine. Maybe you also are looking for a way to serve kids differently other than leading a group of them or being a teacher. Maybe you have a special place in your heart for serving children of all needs and abilities…or maybe serving as a “buddy” is the start of God doing a new thing through and for you, too.


An Inside Look At Our Grace Kids Family Support Program


The reason I became a counselor was to be able to provide a Christian outlook while encouraging others through life’s struggles and misconceptions. I wanted to navigate with people how to prevent the things that I had experienced a good deal in my own life and how to look to God for answers.

Two questions I get asked many times over by clients are, what are the pieces in my life that I need to eliminate and why and where are they are coming from? Our recent ‘Habit Forming’ series and in particular, this [past message](https://youtu.be/qONo0LgGIJU) on “put-offs” and “put-ons,” has touched a bit on this topic. As pastor Anthony pointed out, Ephesians 4:22-24 tells us that, “you were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (NIV).

We all have things in our life that we need to put off and we are called to seek God for truth and direction regarding what to “put on.” However, in the world we live in, with so many lies of who and what we “should be,” it can be tough to identify the truth. This is a piece I begin to work through with my clients in the beginning counseling sessions. We first need to unearth the lies, emotions, and actions that are harming and preventing us from experiencing what God wants for us.

Going to counseling myself has been extremely helpful in gaining insight into my own life. It is not always the genetics of how we are born that can create these habits and struggles, it is also our environment. It is also created by those who surround us, whether by choice or circumstance. This was important for me because it was not just identifying my negative thoughts and behaviors, I was also seeking out the root cause of them. If you do not pinpoint and pull that root from your life it will regrow over time.

I realized that amid the struggles I had growing up, I learned to ruminate on the negative and to run from them. Sure, people would tell me to fight, but what they showed me was to run and play the victim. Now, I am not saying that all the things I experienced were my fault. I was bullied relentlessly as a kid just because I didn’t fit the exact norm. I don’t believe I deserved this, but how I reacted to it was the biggest factor. I left schools and even a church as a kid because of situations of bullying. I believed the world was against me and the lie that God was against me. However, in God’s word it tells us the opposite. Isaiah 41:10 states “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (NIV).

Though I was brought up in a Christian household, that doesn’t mean I was always taught how to act and think in the ways of the Lord. Sometimes I was too focused on the “why me” mentality to see that the Lord was with me and through Him I could find guidance and comfort. I recently heard someone say that the Lord never tells us that if you follow Him bad things will not happen. Instead, throughout His word He tells us that when we follow Him, amidst our struggles, He is with us! Meaning we will still have struggles, but what do we do when they come? For me to understand this, I had to identify the learned behaviors and thoughts of my environment that helped create my negative outlook on the world and on God. Then I had to replace them with God’s actual truth.

My encouragement for others as they are trying to navigate the “put-ons” and “put-offs” of life, is to walk through it with someone. It can be a lot more daunting trying to go at this alone. I leave you with one of many passages in Proverbs that affirms this truth: “Surely you need guidance to wage war, and victory is won through many advisers” (Proverbs 24:6).

_John is a licensed professional counselor whose clinical experience currently includes, but is not limited to, counseling individuals and groups from a variety of backgrounds with depression, anxiety, identity and relational issues, spiritual conflict, life transitions, grief and loss, trauma, and addictions._

_For more information on counseling services at Hoboken Grace you can visit_ [_counselinghoboken.com_](https://www.counselinghoboken.com/)

To listen to Sundays message on “putting off” and “putting on” click here: <https://youtu.be/qONo0LgGIJU>


Stepping Into Who God Created Us To Be


RightNow Media has been a resource we’ve offered here at Hoboken Grace for a number of years and you might not even know that it’s a FREE resource offered to you as well! RightNow Media is like an online Netflix filled with studies on scripture and teachings on relationships, parenting, finances, and more! Plus, there is an entire library of fun and safe children’s videos. There are over 10,000 on-demand videos available to you and your family completely free!

We thought it might be fun to look back on 2022 to see which studies and videos our Hoboken Grace community is engaging with. Sometimes God communicates to us through felt needs in the church and when we as a church come together, He can use us collectively to help people find their way back to Him.

So thanks to RightNow Media and the power of data, here are a few of the Hoboken Grace “favorites” and what we’re watching as a church on RightNow Media.

The Top 10 Bible Studies on RightNow Media

1\. The Gospel of John: Part 1: Tony Evans  
2\. The Book of 1 Corinthians – Jennie Allen  
3\. The Book of Hebrews – Derwin Gray  
4\. The Comeback – Louie Giglio  
5\. The Book of Colossians – Louie Giglio  
6\. The Acts of the Apostles – Louie Giglio  
7\. Get Out of Your Head – Jennie Allen  
8\. The Joy of Generosity  
9\. Shouts in Silence: God is in Control – A Study in the Book of Esther – Beth DeFazio  
10\. The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry – John Mark Comer

The Top 10 Kids Episodes

1\. Superbook  
2\. Theo  
3\. Yancy’s Little Praise Party  
4\. BOZ  
5\. The Pilgrim’s Progress  
6\. VeggieTales  
7\. The Slugs & Bugs Show  
8\. Friends and Heroes  
9\. Bible Unearthed  
10\. Owlegories

One of our goals and prayers is that as part of the Hoboken Grace family, you would continually grow in your relationship with God. We hope these recommendations help to strengthen both you and your family!

If you haven’t yet signed up for a free account of RightNow Media, you can do so [here](https://app.rightnowmedia.org/en/join/hobokengrace).


RightNow Media: A Free Resource To Enrich Your Faith


_To sign up for Re|engage, click [here](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/groups/dinner-groups/1-monday-7-30pm-reengage)_

For many of us, as we embark on the journey of finding our spouse, we dream of a beautiful wedding surrounded by family and friends, finding a new home together, starting a family, and accomplishing dreams along the way.

The reality is that life sets in and things may not always go as planned or hoped for. Whether you’ve been married for one, fifteen, or twenty-five years, you’ve probably come across situations with your spouse that shake your understanding of marriage or make you wonder if you really know your spouse well. We know that marriage has its challenges and incredibly joyous moments, but have you wondered what marriage can look like when it’s built on an unshakable foundation?

If we consider the vows we made to our spouse, along these lines “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part”, we’ve made a lifetime commitment to someone! If a certain commitment in our lives is a priority, shouldn’t we invest time in ensuring that it has the proper attention? Our marriages should take that priority and we should invest in it.

God has designed marriage to be a supportive, loving, life-giving relationship that mirrors His own unconditional love for us. Re|engage will help you better understand that design and learn how to apply it to your own marriage. Even if your marriage is good, this is an opportunity to make it great. If you are struggling, there is hope!

Re|engage is a class that meets weekly and covers 8 different marriage principles over a period of 16 weeks. Together, you and your group will work through the 16-week curriculum and learn how to effectively communicate, resolve conflict, and grow closer to your spouse. As you work through the content and learn applicable skills to practice in your marriage, your group will come together to hear testimonies from couples whose marriages have been transformed and gain insight from others in a small group setting.

Hear from Chelsea and Greg who have taken re|engage and the impact it’s had on their marriage:

“Greg and I have been together for over 7 years and married for 2 years. Re|engage has encouraged us to be more patient with each other and has given us a safe space where we can communicate more openly. One of the biggest challenges for us as a couple has been navigating conflict with grace and humility. Re|engage has provided us with tools to do just that. Ephesians 4:2-3 says “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” We learned that handling conflict well gives us an opportunity to strengthen our marriage. Through this process, we learned to love well—with patience, gentleness, humility, grace, and most importantly how to ask each other for forgiveness. Going through this process in community made all of the difference, especially knowing that we were not alone in our walk.”

_To sign up for Re|engage, click [here](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/groups/dinner-groups/1-monday-7-30pm-reengage)_


Have You Ever Wondered What God’s Design Is For Marriage? 


Recently, groups from Hoboken Grace had an opportunity to serve at three local nonprofits, which have been long-time partners of Hoboken Grace. We wanted to share the experience of a few people just like you who embody the phrase-

**We don’t just live here, we love here!**

There are several organizations doing great work around Hoboken. If you want to learn more about the Hoboken Grace partners, you can email [partnerships@hobokengrace.com](mailto:partnerships@hobokengrace.com).

**Lunchtime Ministry (LeighEllen Z.)**

“If they are asleep, let them sleep, and they can eat when they wake up.” A simple instruction that embodies the non-profit Lunchtime Ministry: a place that provides a warm meal and a peaceful place to spend the morning, striving to treat everyone with dignity and respect.

I recently had the opportunity to serve at Lunchtime Ministry with members of my Dinner Group. When we arrived, one of our first ways to help was to organize the supply room where supplies and various donated items live. As we were organizing, guests came and asked for a variety of items: razors, t-shirts, soap, etc. Right away it became evident how vital the ministry is in providing items for guests that I often take for granted (and how much the organizing helped to make it easier to find the items for guests quickly!)

Later we were able to help serve the meal to guests. During the meal, each guest was handed a plate as they sat at their tables, restaurant style. It stood out as a simple way that members of a community that are often passed by were able to be served and given personal attention.

As I reflected on our time serving, it was especially meaningful to volunteer together with my Dinner Group. Dinner Group is about sharing life together and serving alongside each other allows us to put aside our busy schedules and make new experiences together. Dinner Groups also strive to create community; what better way to do this than to serve together in the community, meet new friends, and be a visible example of God’s love?

If you’d like to see this inspiring ministry firsthand, you can always volunteer at Lunchtime Ministry Monday-Thursday, 8:00AM-12:00PM. You can sign up to volunteer at [volunteers@stmatthewtrinity.org](mailto:volunteers@stmatthewtrinity.org) or read more at ​​<https://www.stmatthewtrinity.org/lunchtime-ministry>. Hope to see you there!

**Hoboken Shelter (Sean C.)**

This summer, I arranged with Reverend Forbes a day for the Hoboken Grace Partnership Team and members from my dinner group to come out and serve at the Hoboken Shelter. We had six volunteers and spent three hours helping serve dinner, sort and clean the kitchen and pantry, and break down and clean up after dinner.

The shelter has an early and late dinner option for the community, where they feed hundreds of individuals. Did you know the Hoboken Shelter serves over 400 meals a day? Both groups seemed to enjoy the company of our group and we did our best to make sure they were happy with their experience. We were also able to pick up cups and towels that were on the “wishlist” of needs the shelter had at that time. Jake from the shelter helped manage the process and was a great resource for helping our visit’s productivity.

I felt Hoboken Grace and the shelter got a lot out of the experience and would be great to keep it going. It was awesome to hear how one person from my dinner group explained to the rest of our group how fulfilling it was for them the following week.

The Hoboken Shelter is located at 300 Bloomfield Street. You can learn more about their programs and volunteer opportunities by visiting <https://www.hobokenshelter.org/>.

**The Open Door (Megan L.)**

Since joining the Partnerships Team I have been learning about and meeting with Hoboken Grace’s local partners. I have been fortunate to be partnered with The Open Door, and recently had the privilege of volunteering at their Thanksgiving Conversation Night. The Open Door provides English, TASC, and computer classes to immigrant families in New York and New Jersey. They hold conversation nights throughout the year for their students to give them a chance to engage further in English conversation and practice what they’ve learned thus far.

This was my first time visiting The Open Door and I was very nervous going into a Conversation Night. I wasn’t sure what to expect and how helpful I would be, being that I don’t speak any Spanish. I went with one other member from the Partnerships team who also does not speak Spanish but could understand well, and also a coworker who speaks Spanish fluently. So we all came into the night with a range of experience.

The night began with a message from the Pastor of the Church that their West New York location is held in and he gave us a message in English and Spanish. From there, we moved to make our plates for the dinner, which was done as a potluck Thanksgiving Dinner, so all the food was provided by members of the Open Door. Once we made our plates, we were divided into groups to engage in our Conversations. We were split up based on the students’ levels, so I was placed with students in a much higher level class while my coworker was placed with students still in the beginning level. The staff provided us with a list of questions to engage the students on. Initially starting the conversation was a little awkward as it took some time to tell where exactly my group’s English was at, however, once the conversation got going I felt as if I didn’t even need to refer to the list. I could tell the students were excited to share their stories and converse in a way they probably don’t get to very often. It was really eye-opening to learn their stories, hearing what brought them to the Open Door and how it has helped them in their lives in America. It was also a great learning experience to figure out how to word my questions and answers in a way they would understand best. Leaving the night I felt as if I built connections with people I wouldn’t have normally thought I could.

The Open Door holds frequent conversation nights for their students and I think it is a wonderful thing to be a part of. Coming from someone who does not speak Spanish, and went into the night quite nervous, there really is someone for everyone to engage with there. They have locations in NY and NJ, you can learn more about them at <http://www.theopendoornjny.org/> .

To learn more about our partnerships, head to <https://hobokengrace.com/partnerships/> where you can see our local and global partners. You can also email [partnerships@hobokengrace.com](mailto:partnerships@hobokengrace.com).


Serving Together


_To check out the full 2022 Impact Report, click [here](https://www.flipsnack.com/hobokengrace/impact-report-2022/full-view.html)._

Together, we were able to love and serve our community in so many impactful ways in 2022.

We have also seen God powerfully answer our prayers this year. Whether it was through people taking the step of baptism, using our family to help people find their way back to God, or through the development of our new space. It’s amazing to see how much God has accomplished through our family and we can’t wait to see how He continues to move in 2023!

To celebrate, here’s a look back at some of our favorite photos from 2022!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/51834294341_0b2aa43c1b_o.jpg)

At Hoboken Grace, we’re about more than just Sunday! Creating community is so important and one of the ways we do that is through our connection events. From coffee and food crawls, to trivia, to sporting events, we had so many fun ways to get connected in 2022\. We had 87 connection events held this year and are so grateful for the friendships and memories that were able to take place through all of our different events!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/51964760723_23ec7b6a27_o-1.jpg)

We completed the Home Initiative, closed on our very first permanent location, and our plans were approved by the city! We have seen God move so powerfully through this journey with our new building and answer so many prayers. We are so excited for all that is to come with our new community center and how we will be able to display the love of Christ to our community through our new space.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/51997260666_fddb4ff820_o-1.jpg)

We had over 4,000 people be a part of our Easter Egg Hunt this year! Although we had some rain, it didn’t stop us from having a great time!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52011507958_82a0a913d6_o.jpg)

This Easter was a super special and fun service, filled with a few different surprises! It’s not every Sunday that we have a breakdancer on stage with our band covering an Encanto song!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52286579283_6b6bb5cede_o.jpg)

Dinner Groups are at the core of Hoboken Grace. They provide a place for community, connection, and spiritual growth. We had 332 first time dinner group members, which is a huge celebration! We also had 59 dinner group leaders and 2,228 total dinner group gatherings this year!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/51881096115_b9a33d48ac_o-1.jpg)

Throughout the year, we gave people the opportunity to share their stories right upstairs at 301 Garden. It is so impactful getting to hear people’s stories on Sundays about how God is working and moving in their life.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52173042263_138a0d41e8_o.jpg)

VIBE and the Quad have grown exponentially this year! We are able to provide a safe environment for middle-schoolers and high-schoolers to connect, have fun, and either start or deepen their relationship with God. We are so excited about how God is moving through these groups, especially at this impactful age.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52513577490_5cea2766db_o-1.jpg)

Every Sunday at 301 the band beautifully leads us all in worship. We are so thankful for the all the hard work and energy that they put into every service and how we get to worship God through the songs they sing!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52513367784_8247473048_o.jpg)

At Hoboken Grace, our mission is to help people find their way back to God. It is incredible to see that we had 748 first time guests, over 29,000 adults who attended in person and over 18,000 people who watched live online! We can’t wait to see what next year brings!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52011923415_93ec471317_o.jpg)

Sundays are always extra special when we get to celebrate baptisms together as a church and this year we had over 40 baptisms! We are so honored to be a part of this moment of those who took this step of faith with us. We can’t wait to see how they will continue to grow!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52317597439_5f6d9e5ee3_o-1-1.jpg)

This year, we did something we’ve never done before at Hoboken Grace. We had our directors on stage one Sunday where they were able to share all about the teams they lead. Our staff has grown significantly this past year and we can’t wait to see all that God has in store for our team this upcoming year!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52481777026_e579ac795c_o.jpg)

We are so grateful for all those who serve on a team to make Sundays and beyond what they are! We had 154 people join a team this year!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52367685991_2c84a57018_o-1-1.jpg)

We had so many great conversations this year, one of them being our ‘Enjoying God’ series. Not only did the messages leave a lasting impact, but we also had a lot of fun with this series! Each week we did something special, whether it was handing out ice cream to everyone on Sunday or filming our announcements while eating hot wings, jet skiing, or rock climbing! We kept everyone laughing and on their toes… especially Pastor Anthony!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52448649115_aab35d2c03_o.jpg)

Oh … and we had food trucks too!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52405002383_11d391ab93_o-1.jpg)

At Hoboken Grace we believe we don’t just live here, we love here! Giving back to our community is so important to us and one way we do that every year is through our 1Day Hoboken. This year we celebrated our 12th annual 1Day! Things looked a little different due to the weather, but our Bridge Events team did an amazing job at rolling with the unexpected as we turned our 1Day into 2 days. We had over 650 people come together to love our city in not just 1 day, but 2 days!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52465398071_a502cfc223_o-1-1.jpg)

We had so much fun up on the fourth floor as Grace Kids had their annual Mega-Awesome Costume Party! It is one of the cutest Sundays of the year, as our Grace Kids dress up in adorable costumes!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52555436051_779e443d5f_o-1.jpg)

We celebrated another year of loving our community this Christmas, by ensuring that no child in our city goes without a gift at Christmas. Through our Christmas Exchange, over 1,300 children were able to receive gifts. We are so grateful for all of our donors, volunteers, and the Bridge Events Team that worked so hard to make this event possible!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52542687424_0d742576d9_o.jpg)

We kicked off our first Sunday in December with our annual Grace Kids Christmas concert! The stage filled with kids from two years old up to our fifth graders, as they sang our favorite Christmas songs! Even for those that don’t have kids, it brought a smile to everyone in the audience.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52527999833_df6802ed90_o.jpg)

We celebrated the holiday season and our ‘Awkward Family Christmas’ conversation with ugly Christmas sweaters, fun photo backdrops, Christmas sweater giveaways, lots of Christmas lights, and an amazing original song from our band!

We can’t wait for another amazing year ahead and to see how God continues to move in and through the lives of our church family.

_To check out the full 2022 Impact Report, click [here](https://www.flipsnack.com/hobokengrace/impact-report-2022/full-view.html)._


2022: A Year Of Celebration And Impact

Christmas is a time for joy, celebration, and connecting with those we love and those we are related to. Whether you’re catching up with old friends, chatting around the dinner table with your extended family, or making small talk with strangers, the season is full of opportunities for conversation. But sometimes, these interactions can feel superficial or unfulfilling. If you want to make the most of your conversations and connect with others in a meaningful way, read on for three tips to upgrade your holiday chit-chat.

### **Narrow the scope of your question.**

Avoid questions that are too broad, such as:

“How are you doing?”

“What’s new with you?”

“How have you been?”

“How’s school/work?”

These questions set the other person up to give you a pretty standard response of a one word answer like “good”, “not much”, “alright”.

Instead try narrowing on your questions that will broaden their response and engage them. In dinner groups, we like to call these questions discovery based questions that are motivated by a genuine desire to understand and connect with the other person. You’re trying to find something you don’t already know.

“Who is someone that has had an impact on you this year?”

“What class are you enjoying most at school?”

“When is your next trip planned?”

“Where did you find that sweater? I love it!”

“Why did you choose to study finance?”

“How did you learn so much about football?”

Narrowing your question does two things. It shows them you genuinely care by the question you are asking them and it helps them to focus their selection and gets them out of an auto response that typically kills the conversation instantly.

Here is another common example, if you know they’ve just gone somewhere on vacation don’t ask them, “How was your trip?” ask them, “What was the best day of your trip?”, “Tell me about your favorite meal?” Heck this will even work after Christmas break when everyone is back in the office. Upgrade “how was your break?” to “what activity this break did you enjoy the most?”

Having a great conversation ultimately boils down to asking good questions. Asking good questions is a skill which means all you need to do is practice.

### **Ask another question before getting to your opinion.**

Whenever you ask a question it can be tempting to immediately rush in and share your opinion right away. Challenge yourself, hold back, and ask another question before you do. The best tip at this monument is to remain curious.

Let’s take the first question from the last one as an example:

“Who is someone that has had an impact on you this year?”

“My co-work John has been fantastic”

“Nice. What makes John fantastic?”

The great thing about this step is you can keep going. See how long of a string of questions you can ask.

### **Love the person more than your point.**

You don’t have to win the conversation. In a world of hot takes and heated opinions it can be tempting to battle back with Uncle Steve. Let me save you time and heartache. You don’t have to win. Love the person more than you love your point.

My friend Geoff Surratt recently put together a list of phrases that will work perfectly in these monuments.

1. You may be right.
2. I don’t know enough to form an opinion.
3. That’s certainly an interesting point of view.
4. I don’t actually remember.
5. I didn’t really know him.
6. That’s definitely a possibility.
7. You have a point.
8. I hadn’t heard that
9. I really don’t know
10. How about that!

Allow this season to be one that strengthens our ability to connect with those who come into our path. Whether you’re catching up with old friends or chatting with extended family, these techniques can help you create deeper connections and more enjoyable interactions with those around you. So the next time you find yourself in a conversation, remember to focus your questions, remain curious, and let go of the need to win. By following these tips, we can make the most of our conversations, strengthen our connections with others, and create community with those around us. 


Maximize Your Christmas Conversations: 3 Techniques for Having Deeper, More Engaging Interactions


Over the past twenty years in church planting I’ve experienced so many seasons; seasons of life, seasons of ministry, seasons of marriage, seasons of parenthood, and more I can’t even remember. It would be nice if they were neatly defined and packaged, but they aren’t. They’re very much like the seasons of the year. You know generally when they’re coming, but sometimes they come early, sometimes they come late. Most of the time you wake up and say, oh wow, it’s winter. Ok, it’s summer. Did fall happen? They run into and through one another leaving your wardrobe confused and often behind. Life seasons are the same.

But like your wardrobe, seasons of life require different tools, different speeds, and different priorities. You need to pack up your toddler parenting tools and get some hand-me-down elementary parenting tools. You need to restart date night. You need to get serious about your health. It’s a new season. Time for change.

But there’s no announcement and there’s no natural transition. One season just flows into the next, with no break, no memo to get the winter clothes out of storage. Which often leaves us wearing a windbreaker in the snow.

Have you ever felt like that in life? “This windbreaker worked really well a few months ago, but now, it may be the death of me!”

There was a season where I felt like I did a decent job with changing seasons. It wasn’t a long season, unfortunately, but it did exist. During that time I practiced something that I’m looking to re-establish this coming year. It’s the only thing that’s helped me navigate this with any success.

I intentionally planned season gaps.

Season gaps are not long. They are two to three-day stretches where you allow the previous season to die and you re-establish the new season. You break out of your routine, you blow it up, and you build a routine that fits the next season. I can’t transition seasons on the run. You may be able to, but I can’t. Life isn’t going to give you a season gap. You have to create it.

This is especially critical for intense seasons. When I’m running at full speed, like in Easter Season, I can’t slow down. I need to stop and start again — slowly.

Try transitioning out of the newborn phase, while running at full speed — it doesn’t work. Having a baby is chaos, and you’ll live in that chaos for a very long time if you don’t stop and rebuild at six months. You don’t need to be in chaos at the six-month mark. It’s an entirely new season and there are a lot of things you need to re-establish, but you won’t if you don’t stop.

You need season gaps. Life isn’t going to give them to you. You need to intentionally plan them. I suggest at least three a year. You know generally when seasons are going to change for you. Put in a gap. Use your vacation for this. It’s valuable.

We don’t have to find ourselves wearing a windbreaker in the snow. We just have to be intentional about changing wardrobes.

I share this with you now because the week after Christmas is the best gap if you don’t fill it with things to do. Christmas is a blitz in a lot of ways. Take a few days, blow up the Christmas rush and the past season, rebuild the routine, and head into a new season!


Valuing the Reset


Talk about an awkward family Christmas, this was it. The worst Christmas ever. I truly believed my family was beyond hope. I was shocked, embarrassed and so unbelievably sad that this was how we would spend our Christmas. How could this happen ON CHRISTMAS EVE? This couldn’t really be my family. This couldn’t really be happening.

That Christmas Eve, my mom called me and told me she was going to end her life. My mom had struggled with alcohol and anxiety for some time but the depression and pills were not something I was aware of until that night. She was in so much pain and I didn’t know. I knew she was not happy but I didn’t know the severity of it until she called me that night in complete desperation wanting to end it all. It was terrifying to say the least. Fortunately, she did not take her life. Instead, she was checked into a mental health facility where she would stay for 2 weeks.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/IMG_2376.jpg)

That Christmas, my family spent Christmas in a painful and awkward existence. We all tried to move through the day. We put on smiles for each other and for my nieces and nephews. We did all the things my mom would do on Christmas but inside we were heartbroken and lost. Christmas was my mom’s favorite holiday and she wasn’t there. We were not even allowed to visit her. I scrolled on social media looking at all my friend’s pictures and videos of their time with their families. It seemed so beautiful and pure which was so different from the darkness my family was experiencing. I couldn’t post pictures of us laughing and enjoying ourselves. I was envious of what I thought others had; a better family than mine. Why did my family have to be so broken? Why did I have to come from such a broken family?

Just a couple years earlier, I had come to know Jesus and had experienced so much healing and hope. I wanted this for my family but instead it was just pain and brokenness. It felt like such a weight.

But that Christmas, Pastor Chris preached on how God is working to bring hope into the darkness that exists in our world and in our lives. And he said something that I will never forget. He said, not every Christmas has to have joy but every Christmas can have hope. Those words breathed life into our situation. That Christmas was not filled with joy but that didn’t mean it had to be void of hope. I can be in pain but still hold on to the hope of what God can do. I have come back to those words so many times. Our hope does not have to be placed on whether or not our family is healthy or full of joy. He is my family. He is my father. And my hope is from Him and who He says I am.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/IMG_5625.jpg)

A year later, Christmas looked much different. That year, my mom got healthy! She had started painting again and planting flowers. She showered her grandkids with love, entertained family, and baked until there were absolutely no canisters left for her amazing Christmas cookies. She was happy and whole. She had come back to God! That year my mom and I began to pray together on the phone. I was able to talk to her about my life and we developed the best relationship we had ever had.

The truth is that even in the most hopeless situations God can move mountains. Even when it seems that there is no light in the darkness, God can make a way. If this is you this Holiday season, I see you friend! You are not alone. Draw near to Jesus and let him comfort you. Believe that He can do the impossible. Your Christmas doesn’t have to look pretty or ideal! Families are messy but we don’t have to be ashamed or embarrassed. We live in a broken world so not every Christmas will have joy but take heart because every Christmas can have the hope of Jesus Christ.


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