After their baptisms last week, Jena and Betsy sat down with Hoboken Grace’s Stories Team to talk about why they decided to take this step, who they shared this moment with and the advice they’d give others who are considering baptism as well. Our conversation with them appears below.

**BETSY**

**HOBOKEN GRACE STORIES TEAM:** _How are you feeling right now?_

**BETSY**: I feel amazing. I was very excited and now I just feel content and proud of myself that I finally did this. I felt ready.

**STORIES TEAM:** _What made you take the step of baptism?_

**BETSY**: I actually felt I was ready a few weeks ago when I started my dinner group here at Hoboken Grace and I just wanted to take that extra step with God and build my relationship even stronger.

**STORIES TEAM**: _Who was up there with you?_

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/12/baptism3.jpg)

**BETSY**: My family, my mom came from out of state, my cousins, who actually sing here on the Worship Team, and my friends from dinner group. I also had my dad and my close friends who couldn’t make it, they were on Live \[watching the live stream\], and they sent me messages as soon as I was finished! And my brothers too, because I have family who lives out of state. I am grateful that \[Hoboken Grace\] has the Live option. My best cousin too, in Florida, she was online as well; everybody’s excited! I know they would have wished they could _physically_ be here, but they were still here with me.

**STORIES TEAM:** _For another Hoboken Grace Community member who may be thinking about taking this step, what would you say to them?_

**BETSY**: I would say ‘just do it, don’t wait!’ The minute you feel ready, just do it and take that extra step because your life is going to change forever. I feel like my life has already started to change, so I know I am looking forward to this new additional beautiful journey that I am about to embark on. I am also trying to set an example for my daughter as well.

**STORIES TEAM:** _How old is your daughter?_

**BETSY**: She’s 3! She has been coming to Grace Kids and she loves it! After the baptism was over she said, “Mommy! I am ready to go back to class!” so she went back to Sunday School until I was done. 

---

**JENA**

**STORIES TEAM:** _How are you feeling right now?_

**JENA**: I am just overwhelmed and so grateful that I had so many family and friends there. Looking back on the past two years and the impact God has had on my life and all the amazing friendships I have made with the people at this church is overwhelming. I feel very blessed!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/12/baptism2.jpg)

**STORIES TEAM:** _What made you take the step of baptism?_

**JENA**: I have known for a while that I want to follow in, and wherever Christ leads me now. So just seeing the other baptisms happen throughout the other weeks, I knew I could answer both of those questions wholeheartedly, YES!

**STORIES TEAM:** _Coming out of all those beautiful relationships you’ve built, who did you have up there with you?_

**JENA**: I serve on the Grace Kids team, with the fourth- and fifth-graders, so I had Jake there who is the other teacher, and he has been huge in my journey and my faith so far. Then I had all the people in my dinner groups over the past two years, just a great, amazing body of women who are there supporting me all the time. My parents came in from out of town and my sister surprised me! And some of the kids that I teach each week \[were up there\], so it was a good mix! 

**STORIES TEAM:** _What would you say to someone who is sitting in the crowd at Hoboken Grace, just like you, watching the other baptisms…what would you say to them to encourage them to take this step?_

**JENA**: I think the way my life has changed since I have chosen to follow Christ and not go back to my old ways has been amazing. The kind of transformation that He makes possible in your life is something that I would want everyone to experience. 

_If you are wondering about the step of baptism, [click here](http://hobokengrace.com/baptism/) to learn more about our “What is Baptism Class?” that is held on the first Sunday of every month on the 2nd Floor of 301 Garden._


Behind the Celebration

Divorce and separation are never easy.

So, how do we C.A.R.E. for our group members and friends who are experiencing the anger, pain and loss of divorce and separation?

### C.A.R.E.S.

**CRISIS –** _Understanding the Stress of Divorce or Separation_

Regardless of the reasons, divorce and separation impact every area of a person’s life: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, financial, even vocational for some. To show you care about your group member going through divorce or separation, it’s helpful to understand the stress and emotions they may be experiencing.

According to a recent article in the Huffington Post, there are [Five Emotional Stages of Divorce](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-emotional-stages-of-d%5Fb%5F779816), similar to the stages of grief:

1. 1. Denial: I can’t believe this is happening!  
   2. Anger: What went wrong? He/she is so terrible!  
   3. Bargaining: I can’t handle this emotionally, so I will negotiate whatever I need to go back to the way it was before.  
   4. Depression: I can’t go to work or face my coworkers or my ex-spouse.  
   5. Acceptance: This is my/our new reality.

**APPLICATION –** _Practical Suggestions for Encouragement_

LOOK – Realize your group member might be stressed about the divorce, even if they say they’re happy or relieved to move on. They may be stressed if you notice any of these symptoms:

* * Lack of concentration  
   * Defensive or overly-emotional  
   * Physical exhaustion or illness  
   * Loss of appetite or excessive eating, drinking, etc.

ASK – Sometimes our group members want encouragement and support even when they try to appear strong and independent. So here are a few questions you can ask them:

* * How can I support you this week?  
   * How’s your family doing? How are your kids responding to your news?  
   * Do you have a good support system right now?  
   * Is there anything I can do to support you and your family?

LISTEN – Be available just to listen to your group member talk about the pain, anger, sense of relief, and stress of the whole experience. Avoid telling your own story re: divorce or separation unless they ask, or avoid stating your biblical stance on marriage- which could do more harm than good if they are not a follower of Jesus.

EXPRESS KIND CONCERN – If necessary, kindly express your concern if your group member is making unwise choices during this season by saying something like, _“I’m concerned about you. The choices you’re making don’t seem like you. Are you doing okay?”_

**REFERENCE** – _What Does the Bible Say About God’s Response?_

* * [Philippians 4:6-7](https://www.bible.com/bible/59/php.4.6-7): God gives us peace  
   * [Proverbs 3:5-6](https://www.bible.com/bible/59/pro.3.5-6): God will guide us  
   * [Ephesians 6:10-17](https://www.bible.com/bible/59/eph.6.10-17): God gives us strength

**ENGAGE** – _Next Steps for Engaging Your Group Member_

OFFER empathy and concern, but hold back on giving advice or stating your biblical stance on divorce; what they need is a friend to encourage them to make healthy decisions right now.

CONNECT them to a friend or dinner group at church who understands the heartbreak of divorce or separation or a trusted [Counselor](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/people/forms/2538?open-in-church-center-model=true). For support at Hoboken Grace go to hobokengrace.com/support.

SHARE the link to Hoboken Grace Online as a way to relieve stress.

SUGGEST they reach out to [care@hobokengrace.com](mailto:care@hobokengrace.com) if they need pastoral care, assistance financially, or other means of support.

PRAY for your group member and their family in this new season.

Return to [Care Guides](https://hobokengrace.com/toolbox/)

_Photo by [Kinga Cichewicz](https://unsplash.com/@all%5Fwho%5Fwander?utm%5Fsource=unsplash&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fcontent=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm%5Fsource=unsplash&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fcontent=creditCopyText)_

### 


Supporting Others In Divorce and Separation

In March of 2016, I [left home](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/mission-to-love/), my job and a community I had built at Hoboken Grace to serve for three years with the Navigators student ministry at a university in Japan. I had been reading Bob Goff’s “[Love Does](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0078FA8HU/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?ie=UTF8&btkr=1),” and decided that I needed to “just do something” to love people.

Loving people, however, turned out to be a lot more complicated than I expected when dealing with a foreign language and culture. I knew that I would be moving into a shared housing environment with Japanese roommates, and expected to get along well with everyone and make friends quickly. This was true at first, at least on a superficial level. But I did not speak Japanese, and understand very little of the hierarchical nature of the culture. I soon learned that my roommates held negative views of American missionaries, and while they were polite, they weren’t really interested in deep friendships. As the new member and “junior” of the house I had a lot to learn, and attempting to introduce and initiate change felt almost impossible. 

I was also surprised to find that it was difficult to connect with the Navigator team. In my previous job, I reported to a supervisor and performed as requested. In full-time ministry in Japan, however, I found that my opinions and voice carried more weight, which also meant that my values, convictions and strategies were often challenged. For a strong introvert who tends to avoid conflict and is sensitive to criticism, this was a tough challenge and character stretching experience.

Over time however, I grew to appreciate my fellow teammates and the experience of community. In a place with very few Christians, my teammates were all I had and we were forced to depend on each other. If one person needed a ride to the train station or another needed help babysitting, the team had to rely on each other. This allowed me to experience a raw and sweet sense of community that I never had when I could choose my friends. In light of our differences and brokenness, we learned to love each other well.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/11/20180615153739.jpg)

Having gone on short-term mission trips before, I have realized that they are focused driven, and with a specific goal and end in sight. With a three year trip however, you need to plant roots. And that is what I did. Although I did not speak Japanese at first, I began to enjoy the language learning process. Things that bothered other foreigners, such as the heat and humidity and constant bugs, I actually enjoyed. I slowly began to feel at home in Japan and almost felt like I fit in as a small piece of a large puzzle.

I soon discovered that my personality was wired in a way that helped my fellow missionaries connect and build trust with our students. In Japan there is this saying, ‘reading the air,’ and that means understanding what is not said. You have to sense and intuitively guess what people are thinking in order to understand what they really want to communicate. As I became more comfortable in speaking the language, I also found myself getting better at ‘reading the air’ and sensing when students felt uncomfortable or insecure. My natural goofball and lighthearted personality provided a sense of calmness and comfortable environment to our community. I think God used this part of my wiring to build greater trust among the Japanese students and our primarily American and German Navigators staff.

One of the biggest changes I saw before leaving was particularly in this area of trust. When I first arrived in Japan, there were five or six students interested in the Bible and very little trust between students and staff. As God opened doors to friendship with students and developed a trusting and comfortable environment, we had close to thirty students participating in our Bible discussions.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/11/S__53960726.jpg)

Ultimately, I can say that I loved well and invested wholeheartedly into the lives of students. I know that there have been seeds of love planted through genuine friendship and the message of the Gospel we presented through our lives. After three years of sharing life together through traveling, sports, karaoke nights, cooking nights and simply enjoying each other’s company I know that I have left Japan having made good friends and having had an impact there.


Learning to Love Well

Whether told through words, pictures, sounds or actions, truly great stories communicate principle, meaning, value and connection, and can be continually experienced and expanded upon in countless ways. No one can resist a timeless and epic story. That’s why this past Saturday almost 300 people dove into our one-day Amplify event and chose their own adventure from eight growth tracks designed to boost personal experiences of the greatest story ever told. 

Those growth tracks included some of the classes that have become mainstays at Amplify over the years, such as Foundations (how to grow your story), Story (how to share your story) and Empower (how to empower your story). Another favorite, Marriage (how to merge your story with someone else’s), was also back this year. 

There were also several new classes. Here’s a sneak peek at those, featuring exclusive interviews with people inside the story, telling stories of the story’s stories … Whoa, so meta. (Warning: big spoilers ahead!)

**_Genesis to Jesus:_** _A summary of His story._

Though the Bible often seems like just a series of parables and accounts from history, this class took a birds-eye view of creation to unearth one larger, greater story. When challenged to summarize the 39 books of the Old Testament in a single sentence, our guest teacher Rev. Bill Fullilove responded with the following: “Genesis to Jesus traces the themes of the Bible from the very beginning, focusing on how they all climax in Jesus himself.” The OT professor says the biggest takeaway is that the Bible “is one single story. It all fits together.”

“In God’s grace He continually restores mankind,” says Kyle, who also accepted the one-sentence challenge after taking the class. Through the lives of Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses and David, over and over we see mankind fail God. Yet from the beginning we see God’s plan for one man to restore Eden. 

“We learned that after the Fall, man has tried again and again to restore what was broken, but that we cannot do it by our own ability… If the Bible is clear about anything, it’s that we as humans are incapable of keeping our covenantal obligations,” says another student, Adrienne. However, “the cool part of God’s covenants is … God, through Jesus, took the \[punishment\],” she explains. “His \[promise\] is to protect and provide for us, even so far as to providing for us the ability to do our portion.” God alone brings His story full circle as history unfolds. 

**_New Testament History_**_: There’s no history without story._

This class serves as a reminder that the Bible’s stories took place during specific times in history, and thus, we shouldn’t overlook the important historical context – the cultural, racial, political, social and religious aspects – surrounding the narrative. 

“History is storytelling, where the details being mentioned have a purpose,” explains Chuck Armstrong, a profession from Redeemer Presbyterian. When you examine the New Testament from a historical standpoint, “every word in the Bible counts.” But at the same time, he cautions that historical context is “always subjective in some way, a personal experience being communicated.”

So how can Biblical stories be read objectively if they themselves are a subjective account of history? Professor Armstrong suggests using the “O.I.A.” acronym: (**O**bserve what the Bible literally says; **I**nterprete logical or allegorical implications; **A**pply what God says to actions in life.) This three-step examination method guards against taking text out of context, which could otherwise be detrimental or just straight-up confusing.

Reexamining a familiar story like the Good Samaritan, you’ll find its full significance in understanding the racial tension and religious oppression, how much a denarii was worth and the dangers existing on that road to Jericho. These historical details redefine what it means to love your neighbor and challenges compassion to go beyond just #thoughtsandprayers <insert prayer hands>.

**_Wisdom Lit_**_: Live a better story._

For times when Biblical stories are hard to interpret into meaningful action, Jason Roberts enjoys focusing on Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and Job. These three wisdom books, he says, “present real-life principles that are easily applicable and help us think practically to understand what life looks like when we live out our faith Monday through Friday.”

By gaining knowledge of simple truths and figuring out the patterns God put in place, we learn to yield certain results, live more wisely and ultimately work the system for benefit. After all, the Bible says hard work pays off! But what if it doesn’t? What happens if the _late_ bird gets the worm, when life is unfair, and good seems evil and unjust?

The class explores the story of Job, a 35-chapter-long complaint where he curses the day of creation and demands an explanation for the cruel universe. That’s when humanity received a whirlwind response from God detailing the infinitely incomprehensible physical and spiritual realities and complexities of existence. God’s epic clap back ends with: “Do you still want to argue with the Almighty? You are God’s critic, but do you have the answers?” To which we say, touché. 

In being humbled, we find a greater hope and trust. Jason explains that all of wisdom literature is summed up in one verse: “Fear of God is the foundation of true knowledge” (Proverbs 1:7). Despite our doubts and questions, it’s wise to live with reference and awe, and a healthy respect for God’s view of good and evil – that’s where wisdom begins. 

_Interested in learning more about Amplify? The date for next year’s event is already set!_ [_More information here_](http://hobokengrace.com/amplify/)_._


Inside Story at Amplify


![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/10/48969877907_f7f6f1f729_w.jpg)This past Sunday, the weather was dark and drizzly outside. But as I shook off an umbrella and headed indoors to the Hoboken Grace Kids costume party, a little girl yelled, “It’s raining cotton candy!!” Weird analogy but okay? I thought.

To my surprise, nothing dispersed that feeling of a gloomy day like witnessing children light up and break through clouds of cotton candy that were quite literally tossed in the sky and showered upon them. A kid with neon blue lips smiled up at me and whispered, “ it’s my first time here, someone gave me a dollar to come today, so technically…,” he smirked, “I’m being paid just to eat cotton candy.” Seeing I was amused, he bragged on, “I’m gonna save it to buy Legos!” It wasn’t clear what his costume was, but he’d make a good businessman.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/10/48971433767_fc6c2acb24_w.jpg)

The fourth floor was a rainbow of costumes flooding every classroom. There were superheroes of all kinds: firefighters and astronauts, World Cup soccer players and comic book characters. Even a brave policeman pulled me over to flex that he was proudly 5 years old.

Down the hall were lions and tigers and bears, oh my! “With all the animal costumes we almost had a whole zoo” said the Tin Man, who must have been given a heart from Mr. Oz for teaching in Grace Kids. “We had a cute rabbit showing off a real carrot, but it was funnier to see her later tackling a lion. It’s supposed to be the other way around,” he laughed. (Sounds a bit out of carrot-ter…) Meanwhile, Baby Shark was making a splash and some saw dragons fly by. It’s even rumored that a Tyrannosaurus Rex was spotted dancing in the wild.

Some costumes were extra bomb this year, particularly that of a certain Mad Scientist who kept inventing ways to make me explode. Wearing a lab coat and biohazard access badge, with an arsenal of test tube chemicals and some choice static gray hairs, it was clear this 5th grade mastermind was insanely genius.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/10/48971435107_e6bda72d4c_w.jpg)But what especially blew me away was seeing how many Grace Kids had invited friends from school. Spider-Man took off his mask to speak with me, though I won’t reveal is identity. “Some friends don’t ever want to go to church for some reason, but I invited my friend because I knew he would have fun at the costume party. He likes wearing costumes.”

That Spidey-sense was proven right when his friend “Percy Jackson” introduced himself, jousting a Herculean sword like the “greek mythological battle victor” he claimed to be. It was his first time at Hoboken Grace.

As for Spider-Man himself, he says the wall-crawling web shooter is the best superhero “because \[Peter Parker\] is a kid like me. Oh, and also…he’s the best because he doesn’t swear. I like Iron Man, but Iron Man swears.” Wow, a “stark” comparison and convincing argument—leading me to believe Spider-Man has saved people from sticky situations.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/10/48969702361_ddb99e28e6_w.jpg)

A unicorn also told me she horned in on inviting her classmate, a Victorian vampire who sank her teeth into the opportunity because “wearing costumes means we don’t have to wear school uniforms and can stand out more.” That vampiress with a high-collared, blood-red gown had razor sharp insight: it would have sucked the life out of this costume party if everyone wore the same thing.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/10/48971263026_98149c022c_w.jpg)

Instead, of course, the Grace Kids Mega Awesome Costume Party was one huge kaleidoscope of creativity. It was like stepping into a multidimensional universe where fashion met fantasy. There were superheroes reigning supreme, kings and princesses ruling together, zoo animals playing with prehistoric and mythical creatures, and well, everything else under the sun. Even though the kids were wearing costumes – pretending to be someone or something else – their personality and interests were on full display. They were able to unmask a different side of themselves, and also reveal to their friends a side of church that they might not have imagined … one filled with cotton candy, dancing dinosaurs, and here it comes, Baby Shark doo – doo – doo – doo – doo – doo.

Good luck getting that song out of your head now…


Oh, the Things You’ll See! (At a Grace Kids Costume Party)

**Questions We Don’t Ask at Church**

React or Angular? Is G Suite ready for enterprise? RAID10 with spinning disks or RAID5 with SSDs? Stay technical or get into management? What’s interviewing at Amazon like? How much should I negotiate the offer?

I spent most of my career in the technology industry, and those are some of the many questions that I had to contend with. Where would I typically go for such answers? Most of the time it would be my colleagues, my ex-colleagues, Stack Overflow, Gartner, Reddit or Glassdoor. I might even pray!

But rarely would I ask my church community. Why is that?

**Untapped resources**

I recently scrolled through the list of people who are part of the [Hoboken Grace Professionals Group](https://www.linkedin.com/groups/8632249/) on LinkedIn. Just on the first page I saw half a dozen software developers. I saw three quite senior technology managers, including a CTO. I saw a number of sales executives across various industries. A handful of attorneys and HR executives. We even have a CEO in the group!

It began to dawn on me that there are thousands of years of technical and leadership knowledge already in our community. People with battle scars and experience gained from dealing with bad bosses and unreasonable clients. Experience pitching to VCs, managing IPOs, building and managing organizations of thousands of people. And, yes, people with experience of React and Angular!

In short, our church has some really accomplished people, many of whom are already eagerly sought-after for their knowledge and experience. Strangely, that doesn’t include those of us who could benefit most – people from the same faith community!

I know we could benefit from those in our community because not only do these people have the right expertise and experience, I know we align on values and priorities and will be considering problems in the same way.

At Hoboken Grace, we encourage people to find a “Paul” (mentor), a “Barnabas” (peer) and a “Timothy” (mentee). I don’t know about you, but I’ve often found intentionally identifying these people quite hard – but aren’t they relationships that we often carry effortlessly in our work? 

As I continued looking at the impressive list of professionals in our community, I also found myself thinking, “they just took this job – I wish they would have talked to me before they did that,” or, “I’d love to learn about how they hired 200 people in three years,” or, “they have the same job as me, I wonder if they have the same challenges as I do?”

**How do we respond?**

1\. [Join our group](https://www.linkedin.com/groups/8632249/) and get your friends to join the group – the network becomes exponentially more powerful as it increases in size.

2\. Use the network to fill your circles.

3\. As you do this, recognize we’re not just finding new ways to network. Instead, let this also be a way we allow God and our church family into our Mondays-Fridays! And a way to support and encourage one another as we go about our work, impacting those around us.


Untapped Resources


Once a year we dedicate one Sunday to a very special celebration. And this past Sunday we had over 1,200 people join us to be a part of 31 children being dedicated! It was such a special day, and we are so grateful for all of the families and their little ones.

We believe that what happens at home is more important than what happens in church, so we welcome parents to partner with us from the very beginning with their little ones to be intentional about raising their children. It is so important to us to help the parents in our church family raise their children to know what it means to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Because no one will influence your child more than you!

When parents choose to dedicate their children at Hoboken Grace, they promise to remember that their child is a gift from God and that because God loves their child more, His plans for the child’s life are better than theirs. This can be difficult to commit to, but every year at Hoboken Grace more and more parents choose to make this commitment. Parents pledge to put their relationship with God first, their marriage second and their child third.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/10/child-dedications-copy-2.jpg)

As children mature, they will hold on to those strong truths that have been surrounding them in loving communities. These parents understand that they can’t force their children to follow God, their child has to decide to follow Christ on their own.

It can be a difficult journey, but Hoboken Grace is here to help. In preparation of Child Dedications, parents come together to talk about what it looks like to make a commitment to raise their children to know Christ. There are also resources available through Grace Kids, and in addition to supporting families on Sundays and throughout the week, Grace Kids provides an opportunity for our church family to support these little ones as they grow. We believe it’s all about helping children grow in loving communities.

[Click here](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/303390) to learn more about our next Child Dedication, and to learn more about getting involved with Grace Kids, [visit here](http://hobokengrace.com/kids/)!


We’re Your Biggest Supporters!

Have you ever sat in service and heard us talk about an organization that we support and wondered what they do and who they are? Well, we thought we should take a moment to introduce you to these organizations … meet our Global and Local Partners!

**Local Partners**

Our local partners serve children, elderly, people in need and immigrants. We work side by side with them to help multiply the impact in their neighborhoods!

[True Mentors](http://truementors.org/): TRUE Mentors mission is to unearth the excellence in children using trusted adult relationships.

[The Open Door](http://www.theopendoornjny.org/): The Open Door NJNY gives immigrant families the support they need to be strong, contributing members of society.

[The Hoboken Shelter](https://hobokenshelter.org/): The Hoboken Shelter’s mission is to be a community partnership that transforms lives by providing meals for the hungry, shelter for the homeless, and services to support people to become housed.

[Lunchtime Ministry](https://www.stmatthewtrinity.org/lunchtime-ministry): Lunchtime Ministry provides an oasis for those who need a nourishing meal and a place to sit with friends.

[In Jesus Name Charities](http://injesusnamecharities.org/): In Jesus’ Name Charities is a collective compassionate and spiritual response to hunger and poverty in our community in which people may do small acts of kindness and sharing to comfort and help their neighbors in need.

[New City Kids](https://newcitykids.org/): New City Kid’s mission is loving kids for change to create a community of spiritual, leadership, academic, and musical development.

[Hope + Future](http://www.hope-future.us/): Hope + Future’s mission is to provide health and wellness programs for youth to give them hope in their academic, social and economic future.

**Global Partners**

We partner with international organizations to help best meet the needs of those at risk!

[Potter’s House](https://pottershouse.org.gt/): Potter’s House fights for children in poverty by walking alongside poor individuals, families, and communities to develop long-term relationships and community centers that we work to build together.

[Casa Hogar Alegre](https://www.casahogaralegre.org/): Casa Hogar Alegre’s mission is to provide love and care for the children of Chiapas who have been orphaned, abandoned, and abused by the families who were meant to protect them. Their goal is to provide not only for the physical well-being of the children, but also to encourage growth in the realms of spirit and education.

[World Hope International](https://www.worldhope.org/our-work/health-and-nutrition/enable-the-children/): Supporting children with Disabilities: Enable the Children is a team of local and expatriate staff who provide Physiotherapy and Occupational Therapy, care, and support services to children living with disabilities in Freetown, Sierra Leone.

[Liberty In North Korea](https://www.libertyinnorthkorea.org/): LINK provides support for those who risk their life to leave an oppressive regime and helps them avoid exploitation in their journey.

Most of us want to make a difference, but we don’t always know how. When we serve in our neighborhoods and around the world, we get the chance to meet the real-life needs of people from all different walks of life. If you are interested in learning more about how you can, [click here](http://hobokengrace.com/partnerships/)!


Meet Our Partners!

639 Volunteers. 33 Projects. 1 City.

Every year, the Hoboken community comes together to take part in 1Day. It’s a day when volunteers from all different walks of life reach out their hands, and their hearts, to enhance the community and serve those who live here.

The moment the volunteers began to pour into the gym for registration Saturday morning, the energy in the room became contagious. Whether it was meeting new faces or connecting with old friends, knowing that everyone was there for one purpose allowed God’s love to become most evident.

“I love the idea of serving the community and I also feel like serving is one of the best ways to bond,” said Vickie.

The room was filled with not only Hoboken community members, but six business groups as well.

Pastor Chris began to countdown, “5, 4, 3, 2, 1…” Cheers erupted as each group headed out into the community with the power of love and determination to start serving. From beautification and organization projects to table collections, 1Day stretched into all corners of the city.

“When we are out in the city cleaning, or arrive at the site where we are going to serve, many people ask what organization we are with and why are spending our Saturday helping them out. It’s an amazing opportunity to invite them to learn more about Hoboken Grace,” said Kiera.

After the projects wrapped up, the volunteers met back at Hoboken Grace for an epic after-party. This gave everyone a chance to celebrate all that was accomplished that day.

Whether it is someone’s first event with Hoboken Grace or routinely their favorite event of the year, 1Day has been known to leave a lasting impression on all involved. In fact, some volunteers made such a deep connection with the groups they were serving on Saturday that they have already made plans to revisit the sites on a more routine basis.

We are all neighbors, and to be able to take a few hours to help one another is a gift that has  
the power to deepen relationships and inspire us all to answer the call to serve.

“At 1Day, you have the time to have conversations while cleaning and painting,” said Kiera. “It’s a great way to build community and deepen relationships.”

Make sure you check out our recap [video](http://hobokengrace.com/1day/) of what 1Day looked like, as well as all the [photos](https://www.flickr.com/gp/78228200@N04/ou9m1T) that were captured that day!


The Power of Serving

When we launched our dinner groups this fall, we started hearing some incredible stories about lives being changed and community being formed. But one of the stories we never expected to see coming walking into this was that dinner groups started to take place around the world! 

We currently have a group running at Ohio State University, a family group in Ohio, an online group in Texas, a group at Fox Hill Gardens in Hoboken, two family groups in New Jersey, and there is even a group outside of the US in Sierra Leone! The cool thing about the new format this fall is that starting a group became easier than ever before. All that’s needed is a heart for people, organizing a place to meet, sharing some food or drinks, and turning on a video! Because of how easy the format is, people were inspired to start groups even if they don’t live in Hoboken or come to a service in person on Sunday. 

One of the things we love so much about Dinner Groups is that they create more space for people to belong. The group at Fox Hill Gardens has eight people who meet after they livestream our service on Sunday, by simply getting together in the common area of the building. They are now all connected and able to participate in community in a way they may never have before. 

The group at the Ohio State University was started by Melissa, with six of her dental school classmates. Her sister Lauren attends Hoboken Grace, and runs a group of her own, and Melissa was inspired to start her own group at OSU! Melissa’s prayer throughout this year was to get connected with some of her peers that shared in her pursuit to know and love God deeper. She attended Hoboken Grace once this past summer while visiting her sister, Lauren, and the theme of the conversation was connection. Melissa said, “Pastor Anthony was talking about the new dinner groups starting up, and I felt like God was talking directly to me that morning. After reaching out to classmates and meeting casually once a week for coffee before the dinner group series began, we developed a solid little group of six dedicated women supporting each other in our spiritual journeys. I am so thankful for the amazing resources Hoboken Grace has provided our group with!”

The group taking place in Texas is run by Michael who attends Hoboken Grace. He was nudged to start a group with his close friends who are living in different states, and runs his entire group online each week. “I invited my friends that aren’t here locally because I remember the challenge Pastor Chris gave us after one of the conversations. So when I decided to start up the group, I wanted to invite my close friends to it so we could take our friendship to a deeper level. We’ve always had brief conversations about religion and I felt it was time to take it to the next level.” And what’s awesome is that they are able to have this fellowship together even though they are living in different states. “The one thing that has surprised me about hosting an online group is that the energy isn’t any different than in person. We all still goof around and are incredibly open with each other.”

Groups sharing dinner around the world is something that we never anticipated happening but we are so thrilled that it has! To learn more about our dinner groups, click [here](http://hobokengrace.com/dinnergroups/).


Sharing Dinner Around the World

Choosing whether to have a family or be a part of a community doesn’t have to be an either-or-choice. I must admit, for the first 10 years of living in Hoboken, I never understood why it was so difficult to make plans with a parent. But that all immediately changed when I finally became a parent almost two years ago.

Parents, we want and need you in Dinner Group with us! You have unique perspectives and wisdom to bring to the group that the rest of us need to hear. We know that figuring out childcare can be a roadblock to getting involved, so here are five ways other parents have discovered to make Dinner Group work.

**1 – Pay for childcare**

I’ll wait for you to stop laughing. Listen, we want to give you every option, and for some families, this is an investment they choose to make. We might be biased, but we think it’s definitely worth it. Consider all the other places you choose to spend your money and if you need to, cut back on things like a $100+ cable package, or decide to eat just two fewer dinners out.

**2 – Join a Sunday afternoon group**

This fall we are having what we call a Large Group Gathering which is made up of 12 smaller Dinner Groups meeting at the Sunday gathering location on 3rd and Garden. The big bonus of the Sunday afternoon session is that we have FREE, yes F R E E, childcare available!

We have all group types available during these afternoon sessions. It’s a great way to meet others and experience a Dinner Group.

To join a Sunday Dinner Group [click here](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/groups/dinner-groups/7-sunday-afternoon-child-care-needed).

**3 – Join an online group**

Technology can really be a wonderful thing. Online Groups have been a growing segment of Dinner Groups at Hoboken Grace. Online groups work by members all jumping on the same video conference call.

It’s very convenient for those who live outside of Hoboken, travel for work often, but also for parents who can’t find childcare because you can attend group from your home each week.

Listen to what one online dinner group member, Ana R., had to say about her group. “\[The online dinner group\] is the highlight of my week. The women is my group are amazing and I’m blessed to have them in my life! Thank you for the online dinner group set up.”

To see our available online groups, [click here](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/groups/dinner-groups?group%5Ftype=74994&archived=&display%5Fmode=cards&tags%5B%5D=672603).

**4 – Attend a men’s and women’s group**

Decide as a couple to go to a men’s and women’s group. It works two ways: attend different nights, or one of you can choose to host your group at your place every week while the other goes out. If you attend different nights the spouse that stays home gets the added bonus of a little “me” time while the other is at dinner group!

As a parent, this is my favorite option because it allows my wife and I to expand our circles past those who are married couples. We just enjoy getting our guy and girl time, which becomes harder to come by as a parent. Also, this is the method we witness being most successful for parents as it allows them to be more consistent.

**5 – Start your own group and host it at your apartment.** 

Ok, I lied, this is my FAVORITE option. The beauty of starting your own Dinner Group is you can control where it’s hosted each week. Last year my wife and I led a married couples group at our apartment while our child slept in the other room. It worked out surprisingly well.

We love to start groups at Hoboken Grace because it creates more space for people to belong. This fall we’ve made starting a group as simple as possible. You just need to have these 4 things:

H – Have a heart for people.

O – Organize a place to meet (Done! Meet at your place each week).

S – Serve some food (I’m sure you have some Goldfish and Cheerios laying around).

T – Turn on the video.

If this sounds like something you would interest you’d I’d love to set up a time to chat so that you could hear more about how we support, prepare, and encourage our Dinner Group Hosts. Email me at nick@hobokengrace.com

**6 – Join a group where the children can come**

We do have a few groups where you can bring your children along with you, but I’ll warn you they tend to fill up really fast, so jump in quick. Each group that allows children does childcare a bit differently. Some will hire a babysitter that everyone chips in for, some take turns watching the children, and some rotate how they meet. After you sign up for the group the dinner group leader will let you know how they handle child care inside their group.

To sign up for a group with childcare, [click here](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/groups/dinner-groups?group%5Ftype=74994&archived=&display%5Fmode=cards&tags%5B%5D=616675).


Family or Community? Do Both!

# **10 Week Group Outline**

After ten years, we’ve learned and heard a thing or two that we think can help you as a leader and help your group, too. This 10 Week Group Guide is designed to partner with you through the first ten weeks of your group until you get confident to set your own plan. Our goal in this is to give you the margin to develop relationships within your group and less on worrying what’s coming next.

### WEEK ONE: Connecting

**CONNECT WITH STORY CARDS //** To get your group to start talking and encourage them to share about their lives and spiritual journeys, Story Cards will draw your group into deeper reflection and more meaningful conversations. Asking the question: _Which picture best represents how you think or feel about beginning this group?_

**WELCOME VIDEO //** Pastor Chris High welcomes you to Dinner Groups at Hoboken Grace. He explains what a dinner group is and your host, Sarah Neral, challenges group members to show up, join in and be real.

**DINNER GROUP OVERVIEW //** What will your group look like? What can your group expect each week? When and how long will you meet?

**SHOW UP. JOIN IN. BE REAL** // Walk through the Dinner Group Guidelines and discuss as a group what it means to show up, join in and be real.

**PRAYER //** Pray as a group for your time together and those tat will join over the next 10 weeks.

### WEEK TWO: Personal Growth

**PERSONAL GROWTH OVERVIEW VIDEO // On Personal Growth Nights, we each share in the next steps in our relationship with God that we are currently taking or hope to take. We celebrate and encourage each other with each step we take.** 

**GAUGES OF 5 PURPOSES //** This activity allows your group to pause and reflect on how you’ve experienced the most growth in the 5 purposes. How can you purposefully Worship, Connect, Learn, Serve and Share?

**EXPERIENCE PLAN //** Share the Experience Plan with your group as an additional too to help their personal growth. The Experience Plan Guidelines will help you navigate how to engage your group with the tool. 

### WEEK THREE: Connecting & Common Growth

**CONNECTING NIGHT VIDEO //** In this session we share the many ways your group can connect as you grow in deeper relationship with one another.

**PLAN YOUR CONNECTION EVENT //** We have all the information you need to plan your connection event – let’s walk through the vision and details of how to do this as a group!

**DISCUSSION QUESTIONS OVERVIEW VIDEO //** The purpose of weekly questions is to engage your group in an application conversation flowing from Sunday’s Conversation. We can’t simply talk about God’s word, we must put it into action. This video shares how you can utilize this common growth tool in your group.

### WEEK FOUR: Communion Night Overview 

**COMMUNION NIGHT OVERVIEW //** Communion means “the act of sharing.” How can your group share in common activities that will encourage each other in your faith? We in this session we help your group discover how they can execute this as a group.

**SHARING STORIES** //This week your group will share their stories with each other. It will be an opportunity for them to share about themselves as well as the people and circumstances that have been influential in their life. 

### WEEK FIVE: Common Growth

**SHARING STORIES** // If you didn’t get a chance to finish sharing stories in your group last week, take some time and allow those group members to share.

**TALK IT OVER** // Engage in the Discussion Questions from Sunday’s conversation.

### WEEK SIX: Personal Growth

**EXPERIENCE PLAN CHECK-IN //** This week you will follow up with your group members about how their Experience Plan is going. How can you celebrate rhythms that have been started? Anything that needs changing?

**RHYTHMS OVERVIEW VIDEO** // In this video we talk about how we engage with our community rhythms as a church family.

**CONTACTING THE LEADER ABOUT GROUP FUTURE //** Our group leaders will be contacted by the Community Core Team to talk about the next steps for their group!

### WEEK SEVEN: Communion

**DISCUSSING THE GROUP’S FUTURE VIDEO** // This week we will share with you how to move forward as a group and how to navigate your next steps.

**PRAYER VIDEO //** Praying out loud in group can be intimidating. In this session – we help you navigate what it looks like to take next steps in this area as a group.

**HOW TO LEAD COMMUNION //** There are many ways you can share communion as a group. In this leader video, we give you some tips on how to plan and share this night for your group.

**PRAYER & COMMUNION** 

### WEEK EIGHT: Connecting 

**HOST CONNECTION EVENT // This week you will host your Connection Event! Remember, a win is when you are able to connect even _one_ person who is unconnected.** 

### WEEK NINE: Common Growth

**TALK IT OVER //** Engage in the Discussion Questions from Sunday’s conversation.

### WEEK TEN: Celebration

**CELEBRATION VIDEO** //In this video we share why celebration is a vital part of who we are at Hoboken Grace. Part two of this video will help your group navigate the next steps for the weeks ahead. Celebrate what God has done and look forward to what is to come! 

**ENCOURAGEMENT NIGHT GUIDELINES** // Encouragement night is an evening when we can take time to stop, reflect, and share on how we value and appreciate one another. These guidelines will help you walk through how to lead your group through the night’s discussion. 


10 Week Group Outline

Each Sunday we welcome close to 200 kids into Grace Kids! I get so excited when I see all of their faces each week. We are so honored to be able to teach them each week about how much Jesus loves them and who HE says they are. Every Sunday we (the team and myself) pray and celebrate all of the steps we have seen them take and the ones we won’t get to see.

But what about the other kids in our city? There are over 7,000 kids in Hoboken. That means we are currently reaching less than 3% of them. Is anyone telling them about Jesus and how much He loves them? They need to hear about Him too!

> **Jesus Blesses the Children**
> 
> One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him.
> 
> When Jesus saw what was happening, he was angry with his disciples. He said to them, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” Then he took the children in his arms and placed his hands on their heads and blessed them.
> 
> Mark 10:13-16 NLT

I think our instructions are clear when it comes to how God feels about children: “Let the children come to me.” We must create space for them! And that is exactly why we are adding Grace Kids during our third service. We want to create more space to welcome more families and more kids to hear about Jesus. There is absolutely no reason not to! In the scripture above, I don’t hear God saying, “bring the children to me but only if you have the space and the workers and it’s comfortable.” He is not only saying we need to be more like them but he says, “let them come to me, don’t stop them!” I don’t think it could get any more clear.

As we head into the fall and create more space for kids, we want you to be a part of it. We _need_ you to be a part of it! If you have a heart for kids and want to join us on this mission, email Rachel@hobokengrace.com to take a tour and see how YOU can make an impact in a child’s life.


Why Three?

When Deb and Roger Andruss joined one of the largest mission organizations in the world a decade ago, transitioning from church ministry to providing pastoral care on a global level, they noticed something amiss: countless missionaries and church staff they met were abandoning their calling due to feelings of burnout and disillusionment. When the organization delved deeper, they saw a common theme. In many cases, those who were leaving their ministry had struggled to find a balance between the Great Commission and the Great Commandment. The business of their ministry had led them to neglect their relationship with Jesus — there’d been too much “doing,” and too little “being.” 

With that realization, Deb and Roger began facilitating retreats to help people understand how to strike a healthier balance. Both had a heart for preventive health care (they’d worked in the industry before serving in ministry), and their goal was to help others achieve and maintain a better spiritual, physical, emotional and social well being.

It was around that time that they started hearing about the Axiom, a global community encouraging practices and disciplines to encourage greater intimacy with Christ. In corresponding with Jeff Pratt, the organization’s founder, it became clear that God was leading them to merge their ministries.

“In the six years since, we’ve seen Axiom grow at the local and global levels,” said Roger. “Several churches, like Hoboken Grace, have adapted Axiom’s rhythms into their growth programs.”

Those rhythms are at the heart of Axiom’s retreats, where participants are introduced to these spiritual disciplines and can work on putting them into practice. In doing so, they’re able to create more time and space for greater intimacy and a deeper understanding of God’s purpose for their life.

“We’ve discovered over the years of facilitating retreats and pilgrimages, and spending time in silence and solitude in prayer, that we have a God who aches for our full presence,” said Roger. “Being fully present to Him, to one another, and to the needs of the world around us is the distinct spirituality and heartbeat of Axiom.” 

And those practices are more important than ever, says Roger, as our lives are increasingly being lived at high velocity and with greater amounts of clutter.

“Our hearts have forgotten how to ‘be still and know that He is God.’” he said. “Inside ourselves we’re running all the time, ambushed by the tyranny of the urgent. We are seldom awakened to the fact that every moment of every day can be lived in the presence of God, alive and aware of His love.”

_Interested in attending an Axiom retreat? You’re invited to join us for this opportunity next summer:_ 

_Axiom: Homecoming: July 10-12, 2020_

_With storytelling, movie illustrations, biblical teaching and personal prayer time, this time away will further your understanding of His dreams and purposes for your life._

_For more information, contact anthony@hobokengrace.com_


A Retreat for Mind, Body, and Soul

**Impact Not Matching Ambition?**

“I want to make an impact” is a phrase that I have heard from a lot of people when talking about what they want out of their career or their life. I think, deep down, that’s what we all want. We want to leave our mark, a positive impact on our world.

Wanting to make an impact is an awesome and noble aspiration. And yet actually achieving it always seems so difficult. We are often at our most ambitious when we’re young and new — when we have no influence or resources to make the impact we want. And so many people feel frustrated in a job or situation where they don’t have the ability to make a big impact. Some may leave to go to a different company, with a different mission, or try to climb the corporate ladder to get a more influential role — all with the goal to make a bigger impact. But I also find that no matter how senior we get or how incredible that mission statement is, many of us still feel that our impact is just not quite there. Our impact can never seem to match our ambition.

**Don’t Reduce Your Ambitions** — **Lengthen Them!**

So what do we do? Should we simply throw our hands up and become less ambitious?

I’d like to propose something different — because I don’t think the size of your ambition is a problem. In fact, I would submit to you that you are probably not ambitious enough! Specifically, your ambitions are not _long_ enough.

The world we live in is in a hurry and we all want to make that impact in as short a timeframe as possible. Build a tech unicorn and change the world before I hit 30, please!

Yet what if we would stop and think beyond the next several years and, instead, think about how we can impact the next several generations? I believe if we would do that, then for most of us our perspectives on how to achieve that impact would change — and our ambitions can actually grow.

**Compounding Impact Interest**

I spend a lot of time these days educating people on personal finance, and I believe the most powerful concept on wealth building, compound interest, is just as relevant when thinking about impacting our world.

If you gave me a five-year deadline to make $1m, I would probably end up buying lottery tickets, penny stocks and other get-rich-quick schemes. And the entire time I’m going to be pretty stressed and unfulfilled. In a similar way, I think our yearning to make an impact while giving ourselves such a short deadline can lead to unsatisfied lives at best and destructive behaviors at worst — workaholism and bending ethics to justify our goal are two that come to mind.

But if you gave me 500 years to make $500m — even at a meagre 5% annual return — I would only need to invest less than 2 cents! I might even put in a dollar just to make sure. (By the way, $1 with a 5% return compounded over 500 years would be just north of $39 billion.)

So what if we spend more time thinking about how we can impact the world in five generations instead of five years? Would that change the way we approach making an impact? 

I believe the only way to have lasting, intergenerational impact requires investing in people — specifically other people; because we all have only a few decades (some less) and if you don’t invest in other people, there will be nobody to carry out your legacy. Or worse, they’ll actively work to reverse all that you did!

Would your legacy be different in five generations time if you spent a little less time this year on self-improvement and instead spent a bit more time on mentoring? If you plan to impact your future great-grandchildren, would that cause you to work more on your children’s character than their test scores?

**When and How Do You Start?**

The beauty about intergenerational impact is that it’s never too early and it’s never too late. For those of you at the beginning of your lives, you have your whole life ahead of you to start compounding impact interest. And for those of you who have wasted your best years chasing after the wrong things, it’s okay, it’s a 500-year marathon!

I know some do win the lottery and some are able to create a unicorn startup (and some of them might even make the world a better place). But for the majority of us, that’s not the way to build wealth — and I submit to you it’s not the way most of us will change the world.

But all of us can have massive, lasting impact — and the easiest way is by investing in the people around us and teaching them to do the same. So to those struggling with unfulfilled ambitions, maybe your ambitions are too small. Or, more precisely, _too short_.


Lasting Impact

When we walk into church on Sunday morning, we’re greeted with smiling faces, delicious coffee and donuts, a beautiful space, a great sound system and a very talented band; all of which is put together by people who have hearts for serving. Hoboken Grace’s mission is to help people find their way back to God. Our mission wouldn’t be possible without the amazing community we have who work hard every week to make that happen. This past Sunday at Team Link we gave people the opportunity to find out how they can jump in!  

We were so thrilled to see so many excited faces come through the door ready to find their place … It was almost like “speed dating” where each person had the opportunity to speak to our different teams and ask all the questions they want! Did you know there are ten different impact areas that help make up this mission? 1st Impressions, Communications, Community, Equip, Financial Health, Grace Kids, IT & Analytics, Neighborhood, Partnerships, and Service Programming, all set up to learn about in a quick thirty-minute round. 

Our goal with Team Link is to give others the opportunity to get out of the stands and onto the field and serve this community together. Whether you want to greet new faces, set up the space Sunday morning, impact our kids program or be a part of a larger community, Team Link allows you to find out where God may be nudging you, and the place where your skills and interests can best be utilized for the mission. We want you to not only be able to learn about what others are doing in our church family, but also get plugged into impacting the larger community! 

Did you happen to miss Team Link this past Sunday? No problem! We will be hosting it again in October. If you don’t want to wait until then, feel free to stop by a Connection Point on Sunday and the team will help you get connected.


A Heart for Serving

Towards the end of last year, I put together a life plan. I had done one before on a smaller scale, but this one was put together with a trained facilitator and over the course of two days, mapping out what I’d like to accomplish and how to get there. It really helped me to gain some incredible insight into my life —where I was going, where God had taken me.

One important part of this plan is called the “replenishment cycle” —it helped me to find the things in my life that not only bring me joy but help to replenish me. Often you can work and work and work and feel drained. The replenishment cycle helps to fill up your proverbial gas tank. These are things that help you feel both renewed and refreshed. For me, that includes going to shows or going for a run. Another thing that helps we called “exploring,” which is basically just that—exploring a new place.

Before I came on board at Hoboken Grace, I traveled extensively with my old job. One of the things I loved about it was going to a place I had never been before. When I arrived, if I didn’t have to go straight to work, I used to love to go to the hotel and check in. Then I’d drop my bags off and explore the neighborhood. I would look for good restaurants, fun stores, maybe even some not-to-miss sights in the area. I loved it and I still love doing that today. Why? Well for one, it’s fun for me to see and experience new things. But the other reason, I believe, is because it helps me to build a relationship with the place I’m getting to know. If I’m going to be there for a few days, I want to get to know it. I want to learn about it. I want to see what it can teach me all the while getting to enjoy it.

It’s a lot like our relationship with God. Before I became a believer, I thought of God as just this Guy-in-the-Sky. Unknowable and always watching. But since walking into this relationship with Him, I realize He’s completely knowable. The Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Ephesians, prays that we, “may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.” All too often we want to comprehend something without taking the time to experience it. Much like when I was traveling to a new town or place, I was never able to fully appreciate it until I experienced it.

All too often, we want to comprehend the inner workings of something before we experience it. Yet, when we meet someone during our day, we begin immediately engaging them in conversation, even though we don’t know the intricacies of their motivations. We begin finding these things out when we get to know the individual better, but only after a relationship has started. In the same way, we must explore and engage God relationally before we can truly begin to appreciate the depths of His character.

I spent several years trying to comprehend God without knowing Him, and what did it lead to? Never being able to fully enjoy Him. It wasn’t until I began exploring with Him, spending time with Him and engaging with Him that I was able to build a deeper relationship with Him. If I wanted to comprehend and experience a new place when I was traveling, I had to spend time there. Now, was it possible for me to see everything a town has to offer? Well, I’ve been living in the New York/New Jersey area for 14 years now and I still haven’t seen everything it has to offer. Does that mean I should just stop exploring? Of course not. It’s the same thing with God. Paul would continue to say, “May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully.” Just because you’ll never understand it fully doesn’t mean you can’t continue to grow to love it and peel away the layers to experience Him more and more.

There’s a reason exploring is part of my replenishment cycle. It does replenish and refresh me. I would venture to say that if you’re feeling like your tank is running on empty, maybe you could spend a little more time today exploring and engaging with Him to allow it to be filled once again.


Replenishment

We’re so excited for Dinner Groups and hope you’ve found a group to join! These groups exist to create community and provide a safe environment where people have the opportunity to pursue healthy relationships and spiritual growth.

In the weeks come, here are three simple ways you can get the most out of your group:

**SHOW UP**

It all starts here. You can’t enjoy group if you’re not present. This begins by finding a dinner group where you can be the most consistent. That means finding a night that works best with your schedule. We know life and work will interrupt from time to time, but if you’re in town be sure to be there. Your group needs you just as much as you need them. 

It’s not enough to just be there physically; showing up also means being mentally present at dinner group. This one is personally a challenge for me. We live in a culture where work can follow us home and interrupt us 24 hours a day. We’re encouraged and baited into constantly being in “the know,” so we check our email, social media and news feed over and over again. When you get to group, give others the gift of your full attention. Turn off or silence your phone so it won’t distract you from loving and engaging with those around you.

**JOIN IN**

Joining in is all about contribution. What can you give and provide to the group?

Are there specific skills that you have that your group could benefit from? 

* You love planning events? Take charge of planning your group’s next event.
* You’re a great scribe? Volunteer to take the notes on Sunday or the Prayer Requests.
* You love asking good questions? Facilitate the discussion questions.

Unsure how you could help? Just ask your leader. We want everyone to have a bit of ownership in the group. I’ll also admit that some of our leaders, including myself, tend to hog up all the responsibilities. You have my permission to challenge them _kindly_ into sharing those tasks. When we all own a little bit of the group, it helps lighten the load for everyone. And when people are encouraged to use their gifts for others, it just makes for a much better group and allows us to grow.

Contribution is also about what you share in group. Your group members want to hear from you. When appropriate, we want to hear your experiences, opinions, thoughts and questions. This leads to our last point…

**BE REAL**

I make it a personal goal in group each week to make sure you see the real me, not the me I you want me to see. We want to hear from the real you. We encourage you to be authentic as well. It’s hard for group members to help each other when they aren’t bringing their real selves. 

In order for others to be authentic, we need to build trust among group members so they feel comfortable being real. This means we have to keep things shared in group confidential. Nothing destroys community faster than gossip. 

Being real — and showing others our true selves — requires vulnerability. But it’s this vulnerability that drives real connection. Dinner group is a great place to meet lifelong friends and mentors, but only if you take the time to invest in the group, the conversations you’re having and those around you.

Will you commit this group season to show up, join in, and be real? 

_Still looking for a group to join?_ [_Find one here_](http://hobokengrace.com/dinnergroups/dinnergroups/#join)_._


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