Christmas is a time for joy, celebration, and connecting with those we love and those we are related to. Whether you’re catching up with old friends, chatting around the dinner table with your extended family, or making small talk with strangers, the season is full of opportunities for conversation. But sometimes, these interactions can feel superficial or unfulfilling. If you want to make the most of your conversations and connect with others in a meaningful way, read on for three tips to upgrade your holiday chit-chat.

### **Narrow the scope of your question.**

Avoid questions that are too broad, such as:

“How are you doing?”

“What’s new with you?”

“How have you been?”

“How’s school/work?”

These questions set the other person up to give you a pretty standard response of a one word answer like “good”, “not much”, “alright”.

Instead try narrowing on your questions that will broaden their response and engage them. In dinner groups, we like to call these questions discovery based questions that are motivated by a genuine desire to understand and connect with the other person. You’re trying to find something you don’t already know.

“Who is someone that has had an impact on you this year?”

“What class are you enjoying most at school?”

“When is your next trip planned?”

“Where did you find that sweater? I love it!”

“Why did you choose to study finance?”

“How did you learn so much about football?”

Narrowing your question does two things. It shows them you genuinely care by the question you are asking them and it helps them to focus their selection and gets them out of an auto response that typically kills the conversation instantly.

Here is another common example, if you know they’ve just gone somewhere on vacation don’t ask them, “How was your trip?” ask them, “What was the best day of your trip?”, “Tell me about your favorite meal?” Heck this will even work after Christmas break when everyone is back in the office. Upgrade “how was your break?” to “what activity this break did you enjoy the most?”

Having a great conversation ultimately boils down to asking good questions. Asking good questions is a skill which means all you need to do is practice.

### **Ask another question before getting to your opinion.**

Whenever you ask a question it can be tempting to immediately rush in and share your opinion right away. Challenge yourself, hold back, and ask another question before you do. The best tip at this monument is to remain curious.

Let’s take the first question from the last one as an example:

“Who is someone that has had an impact on you this year?”

“My co-work John has been fantastic”

“Nice. What makes John fantastic?”

The great thing about this step is you can keep going. See how long of a string of questions you can ask.

### **Love the person more than your point.**

You don’t have to win the conversation. In a world of hot takes and heated opinions it can be tempting to battle back with Uncle Steve. Let me save you time and heartache. You don’t have to win. Love the person more than you love your point.

My friend Geoff Surratt recently put together a list of phrases that will work perfectly in these monuments.

1. You may be right.
2. I don’t know enough to form an opinion.
3. That’s certainly an interesting point of view.
4. I don’t actually remember.
5. I didn’t really know him.
6. That’s definitely a possibility.
7. You have a point.
8. I hadn’t heard that
9. I really don’t know
10. How about that!

Allow this season to be one that strengthens our ability to connect with those who come into our path. Whether you’re catching up with old friends or chatting with extended family, these techniques can help you create deeper connections and more enjoyable interactions with those around you. So the next time you find yourself in a conversation, remember to focus your questions, remain curious, and let go of the need to win. By following these tips, we can make the most of our conversations, strengthen our connections with others, and create community with those around us.

Maximize Your Christmas Conversations: 3 Techniques for Having Deeper, More Engaging Interactions

Over the past twenty years in church planting I’ve experienced so many seasons; seasons of life, seasons of ministry, seasons of marriage, seasons of parenthood, and more I can’t even remember. It would be nice if they were neatly defined and packaged, but they aren’t. They’re very much like the seasons of the year. You know generally when they’re coming, but sometimes they come early, sometimes they come late. Most of the time you wake up and say, oh wow, it’s winter. Ok, it’s summer. Did fall happen? They run into and through one another leaving your wardrobe confused and often behind. Life seasons are the same.

But like your wardrobe, seasons of life require different tools, different speeds, and different priorities. You need to pack up your toddler parenting tools and get some hand-me-down elementary parenting tools. You need to restart date night. You need to get serious about your health. It’s a new season. Time for change.

But there’s no announcement and there’s no natural transition. One season just flows into the next, with no break, no memo to get the winter clothes out of storage. Which often leaves us wearing a windbreaker in the snow.

Have you ever felt like that in life? “This windbreaker worked really well a few months ago, but now, it may be the death of me!”

There was a season where I felt like I did a decent job with changing seasons. It wasn’t a long season, unfortunately, but it did exist. During that time I practiced something that I’m looking to re-establish this coming year. It’s the only thing that’s helped me navigate this with any success.

I intentionally planned season gaps.

Season gaps are not long. They are two to three-day stretches where you allow the previous season to die and you re-establish the new season. You break out of your routine, you blow it up, and you build a routine that fits the next season. I can’t transition seasons on the run. You may be able to, but I can’t. Life isn’t going to give you a season gap. You have to create it.

This is especially critical for intense seasons. When I’m running at full speed, like in Easter Season, I can’t slow down. I need to stop and start again — slowly.

Try transitioning out of the newborn phase, while running at full speed — it doesn’t work. Having a baby is chaos, and you’ll live in that chaos for a very long time if you don’t stop and rebuild at six months. You don’t need to be in chaos at the six-month mark. It’s an entirely new season and there are a lot of things you need to re-establish, but you won’t if you don’t stop.

You need season gaps. Life isn’t going to give them to you. You need to intentionally plan them. I suggest at least three a year. You know generally when seasons are going to change for you. Put in a gap. Use your vacation for this. It’s valuable.

We don’t have to find ourselves wearing a windbreaker in the snow. We just have to be intentional about changing wardrobes.

I share this with you now because the week after Christmas is the best gap if you don’t fill it with things to do. Christmas is a blitz in a lot of ways. Take a few days, blow up the Christmas rush and the past season, rebuild the routine, and head into a new season!

Valuing the Reset

Talk about an awkward family Christmas, this was it. The worst Christmas ever. I truly believed my family was beyond hope. I was shocked, embarrassed and so unbelievably sad that this was how we would spend our Christmas. How could this happen ON CHRISTMAS EVE? This couldn’t really be my family. This couldn’t really be happening.

That Christmas Eve, my mom called me and told me she was going to end her life. My mom had struggled with alcohol and anxiety for some time but the depression and pills were not something I was aware of until that night. She was in so much pain and I didn’t know. I knew she was not happy but I didn’t know the severity of it until she called me that night in complete desperation wanting to end it all. It was terrifying to say the least. Fortunately, she did not take her life. Instead, she was checked into a mental health facility where she would stay for 2 weeks.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/IMG_2376.jpg)

That Christmas, my family spent Christmas in a painful and awkward existence. We all tried to move through the day. We put on smiles for each other and for my nieces and nephews. We did all the things my mom would do on Christmas but inside we were heartbroken and lost. Christmas was my mom’s favorite holiday and she wasn’t there. We were not even allowed to visit her. I scrolled on social media looking at all my friend’s pictures and videos of their time with their families. It seemed so beautiful and pure which was so different from the darkness my family was experiencing. I couldn’t post pictures of us laughing and enjoying ourselves. I was envious of what I thought others had; a better family than mine. Why did my family have to be so broken? Why did I have to come from such a broken family?

Just a couple years earlier, I had come to know Jesus and had experienced so much healing and hope. I wanted this for my family but instead it was just pain and brokenness. It felt like such a weight.

But that Christmas, Pastor Chris preached on how God is working to bring hope into the darkness that exists in our world and in our lives. And he said something that I will never forget. He said, not every Christmas has to have joy but every Christmas can have hope. Those words breathed life into our situation. That Christmas was not filled with joy but that didn’t mean it had to be void of hope. I can be in pain but still hold on to the hope of what God can do. I have come back to those words so many times. Our hope does not have to be placed on whether or not our family is healthy or full of joy. He is my family. He is my father. And my hope is from Him and who He says I am.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/IMG_5625.jpg)

A year later, Christmas looked much different. That year, my mom got healthy! She had started painting again and planting flowers. She showered her grandkids with love, entertained family, and baked until there were absolutely no canisters left for her amazing Christmas cookies. She was happy and whole. She had come back to God! That year my mom and I began to pray together on the phone. I was able to talk to her about my life and we developed the best relationship we had ever had.

The truth is that even in the most hopeless situations God can move mountains. Even when it seems that there is no light in the darkness, God can make a way. If this is you this Holiday season, I see you friend! You are not alone. Draw near to Jesus and let him comfort you. Believe that He can do the impossible. Your Christmas doesn’t have to look pretty or ideal! Families are messy but we don’t have to be ashamed or embarrassed. We live in a broken world so not every Christmas will have joy but take heart because every Christmas can have the hope of Jesus Christ.

Finding Hope In Every Christmas

When thinking of the Christmas season at Hoboken Grace, one special tradition that we look forward to all year is our Grace Kids Christmas concert! It is one of the cutest Sundays of the year, as the stage fills with those who are a part of our Grace Kids program, from two years old up to our fifth graders!

After practicing the hand motions and lyrics each Sunday at Grace Kids as well as rehearsing at home, the kids are led on stage by our Grace Kids teachers, ready to sing your favorite classic Christmas songs!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52542876635_2e0fb46f74_o-2.jpg)

Families and loved ones all gathered excitedly in the audience as they proudly watched their kids on stage! However, even if you don’t have children, our kid’s Christmas concert is something that is sure to bring a smile to everyone in the audience!

The parents weren’t the only ones excited to see their kids. As the children got on the stage, many found their parents straight away and were eagerly waving to them during their songs as well as spotting their siblings behind them!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52543763563_ec49cec013_o.jpg)

This year, our song list included Angels We Have Heard on High, Jingle Bells, Go Tell It On The Mountain, O Come All Ye Faithful, Joy To The World, Silent Night, and Born Is The King. Our opening song had an extra layer of fun to it as the toddlers and twos were waving around red and green ribbons.

Students from our clubhouse (grades K-5) did a wonderful job as they confidently read passages from the Bible as the younger kids entered on stage! One student in particular, did an amazing job as she boldly read one of the readings, not even knowing English in March of this year.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52547620551_23c45583c0_o-1.jpg)

There was no better way to kick off the first Sunday of December than by having our annual Grace Kids Christmas concert! We hope the kid’s concert rang in the Christmas season for all who were there Sunday morning!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/12/52542686404_996b393b44_o.jpg)

_To learn more about Grace Kids, click [here](https://hobokengrace.com/kids/)._

The 2022 Grace Kids Christmas Concert!

This past Sunday, we started a 2-week conversation called Finish Strong. Pastor Chris introduced us to ways to really take a hold of the Christmas season and how to give well.

We talked about how it’s not only better to give than to receive, but that it’s more than that. In fact, scripture tells us that generosity is where true life is found.

We really believe that – so much so, that we’ve decided to change the date of Giving Tuesday!

**Quick History Lesson**

Black Friday has been an American tradition ever since the 1950s. It’s the day after Thanksgiving and marks the beginning of the Christmas shopping season.

With the advent of e-commerce, Cyber Monday was introduced in 2005 as an online equivalent to Black Friday and unsurprisingly, 2020 was the busiest shopping day of the year, even overtaking Black Friday.

Perhaps with a slight feeling of guilt, Giving Tuesday was then invented as a reaction to all that shopping. Giving Tuesday started in 2012 as a global generosity movement and is set as the day after Cyber Monday. 

**Putting Giving in its Rightful Place**

I love Giving Tuesday – it’s a day where I get to see all of my friend’s favorite causes and find out about nonprofits that they’ve been involved with that I didn’t know about before.

But if we believe that giving is better than receiving, surely giving should come before all the shopping!

So this coming Tuesday will be Hoboken Grace’s Giving Tuesday and I invite you to start the holiday season strong by engaging in Giving Tuesday – engaging it strategically and wisely.

If you already have causes you support – that’s fantastic! If you would like some ideas, here are two ways you can get involved.

**Hoboken Christmas Exchange**

The [Hoboken Christmas Exchange](https://hobokengrace.com/christmas/) is something we do every year. We want to make sure that no child is left without a gift this Christmas and have a program to match families that need a little extra help with those that can. 

Follow the link above to find out more information, including how you can volunteer and/or be matched with a family.

**Christmas Offering**

As a church, we support more than 12 [local and international organizations](https://hobokengrace.com/partnerships/) that seek to love others in the name of Jesus. Every Christmas, we open a special Christmas offering to allow people to give directly to those organizations. In addition to our partnerships, this years Christmas offering will also fund the continued buildout of our local community center.

To give to the Christmas Offering, simply go to our App or click [here](https://hobokengrace.com/give/) and then, under the “Reference” dropdown, choose “Christmas Offering”.

I hope you have a great Thanksgiving and that out of an abundance of contentment and gratitude, you’ll be overwhelmed with generosity – and in that, you’ll find true life!

Vinny

Director of Financial Health & Stewardship

True Life!

Two Sundays ago, things looked a little different, as just one minute into our first service of the day, we were all caught by surprise when the fire alarm went off! This can be a normal occurrence during off-hours for testing, as it’s been an ongoing issue with the building, but were surprised when they decided to go off during service!

We have a Sunday evacuation plan and practice fire drills with the kids but you don’t know how it will happen in real time. We are so grateful for how smoothly everything ran as our teams led everyone out safely in only 6 minutes! Our Grace Kids team were the champions of the day as they executed their evacuation protocol in an organized, calm, and quick manner!

As the Associate Director of Grace Kids, Megan’s first instinct was to check all the classrooms to make sure the leaders knew what to do, but by the time she got to the rooms, the teachers had already followed the protocol and were ready to head outside to the safety zone! Even members of the Grace Kids teams who work outside of the classroom were immediately ready to offer extra hands! In fact, all of our teams were incredibly encouraging as they held open doors with a smile and told the teams what a great job they were doing! Parents and guardians patiently waited as the team had to follow protocol and expressed immense gratitude for the way everything was handled.

It even ended up being an opportunity for guests and families to connect while they were waiting outside to get cleared to go back into the building! Although we had to cancel our first service, we were still able to have our two other services! It was amazing to see our 11:00 am packed, including welcoming back those returning from the 9:30 am service. Our Grace Kids team also welcomed back returning families for the 2nd service.

We are so grateful to our teams for how they handled the unexpected that Sunday! That morning also reminded us of the importance of having our own space! Join us as we continue to pray as we move through the process with our new community center. Every Thursday morning at 7:30 am we are coming together in person at 409 14th Street to pray for our new building. We’d love for you to join us!

Celebrating In The Unexpected

We chatted with some of our staff about what it’s like working for Hoboken Grace. It takes all sorts of people with different talents and strengths to make what we do possible! From production to graphic design to operations (and much more), there are a lot of working parts! We are so grateful for everyone on our teams who each play such an important role to make our Sundays and beyond possible! As we heard from our staff, they shared with us their favorite part about their job and what it’s like working here.

_Sarah N_– “I was told by a dear friend when I joined staff at Hoboken Grace that it was going to be hard and would be a battle but the greatest thing about being on the front lines of the battle is that we have a front seat to see all that God is doing and how lives are changed. She couldn’t have been more spot on. My favorite thing about working on this team is that I get to see how God pursues people and truly transforms lives.

My second favorite is working with incredibly talented individuals that use their gifts to love others. In the tiniest ways and in the grand ways – they remind me why we serve and encourage me to follow well. No day is ever the same – we go big and I love it. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have stayed in Hoboken or the NY area this long, but this is home. And my experience of community and team has made it so.”

_Megan L_– “My favorite thing about working for Hoboken Grace is the healthy community that is established in this work environment. No one working here has come just because they needed a job, it’s truly a labor of love. That carries through in all our day-to-day tasks, meetings, and outside the work environment as well. It’s been really reassuring and inspiring to work in such a healthy space, especially one that is consistently growing and encouraging.”

_John M-_ “God has utilized Hoboken Grace for me to follow him and my heart on my path to loving others. After revealing His purpose for me to change careers, go back to school and become a counselor, I had apprehensions. However, Hoboken Grace came alongside and supported me through my entire journey from school to my clinical work and eventually accomplishing my dream of creating Hoboken Grace Counseling Center. They encouraged me to place my faith in God and trust that He will provide. Life hasn’t always been easy for me and all I have ever wanted was for others not to feel alone. I want others to know they are loved and allow them to be seen and heard. Becoming a counselor and working for Hoboken Grace has allowed me to do this very thing.”

_Meghan H_– “There’s a lot to love about my job at Hoboken Grace; from a graphic design standpoint I’ve been able to develop skills and explore new processes with far more freedom than I have anywhere else, and I love how focused we are in serving our city/local communities. But above it all, my coworkers are absolutely my favorite part of this job. I’ve had a fair number of roles in wildly different fields before this, and there is something so special about working in a place where the people around you not only care about doing their jobs well, but also care about the lives/wellness of those around them, beyond the 9-to-5\. We spend around a third of our lives at work, so to be in a place that is in many ways an extension of my community has been a huge blessing (especially over the last few years.)”

_Tony B_– “I have really enjoyed working at Hoboken Grace since I first started about a year ago. The people are unlike any other. Everyone challenges each other to do the best they can not just professionally, but personally as well! I have personally grown since joining staff, and have loved seeing my team and others grow as well.”

_Rachel K_– “I was in a completely different field before coming to Hoboken Grace and throughout my job search, I was praying to be open and trust wherever God was leading me in this new chapter. I felt a strong nudge to want to do something more meaningful, but I didn’t know what that looked like. I had been a part of Hoboken Grace for three years, but I hadn’t given much thought to working for a church. I am so grateful God led me here. I love being a part of a work environment where we are all on the same mission and not just any mission, but the most meaningful one! I love being part of such an encouraging and caring team as we get to grow together personally, spiritually, and in our roles!”

If you’re interested in learning more about working for Hoboken Grace, check out our [career page](https://jobs.gusto.com/boards/hoboken-grace-752e4702-d777-4871-adac-45e4c7ecf93b)! As we have been growing, so have our opportunities to be a part of our team! We currently have openings for full-time and part-time positions, as well as internships! We’d love to hear from you and to have you join us in the mission of helping people find their way back to God!

Working at Hoboken Grace

This fall at Hoboken Grace, we have been working through a conversation about how God delights in us and that we can delight in Him. If I am honest, I hadn’t really thought about this idea even though I now see so many passages in scripture pointing clearly to this idea.

Psalm 37:4 (NIV) – “Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

The series began to click for me last week as I used a grilling vegetable wok, which was a Christmas gift, for the first time. I know, you probably aren’t following this leap, but stick with me.

I am a man of habits, tracing back to my time growing up working on a farm. Farming involves a lot of schedules, seasons, and keeping a routine. Naturally, I carried those habits forward in Hoboken, even though life looks different. I enjoy my schedule and my rhythms. I like routines and structure. Now, back to the grill wok. I had always grown up just grilling vegetables directly on the grates so when I received the gift, I politely said thank you to my parents, but then didn’t use it for 10 months. A gift specifically chosen by someone who knows me, a gift chosen because they thought it would bring delight in my life, sat in a cupboard. After using it once, I have now used it each week with new concoctions and it really does bring me joy! I couldn’t believe I had slept on something I now love for so long.

Thinking back about other gifts, I found this pattern. My wife Erin gave me an Apple Pencil on one occasion, and slippers on another. My mother-in-law gave me an Instant Pot and a Nutribullet. My sister gave me a set of hot sauces I had never heard of, but ended up being fantastic. Apparently, tools used for cooking are a real growth opportunity for me. In each circumstance, I let the gift sit around collecting dust because it was outside my routine or what I was used to. The people who know us best like to give us good gifts, even if we don’t ask for them.

As I read through Scripture, a passage in Luke 11 really stood out to me, “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Can you imagine a Father who wants to give you good gifts? Not just the gifts you ask for, but also what you really need and what deep down you really desire.

I think about the gifts I missed from my Heavenly Father because they didn’t fit nicely in my plan, in my routine. God gave me the gift of deep friendships because I went to a Dinner Group, which just felt like more time out of my week. God changed my view of contentment as I gave more of what I had to Him. As I engage God on this journey, I find that He gives me what I need, when I need it. Not before, not after, but at the right moment – like a great guide. When I use these gifts, I experience the joy of what God has for me and how much He loves me. God also experiences delight in seeing His child follow His will in our lives.

As you follow your normal routine this week, listen for where God may be speaking to you outside of your normal routine. Pay attention to what He is communicating through reading Scripture. God is faithful and will be there with you even if it feels uncomfortable.

Have a great week, and let me know how you see God moving as you engage this conversation or try something different.

Good Gifts!

As we are moving through our ‘Enjoying God’ conversation, Pastor Chris has been challenging us to see God in new ways. We are being reminded or learning for the first time that God delights in us and that He wants us to enjoy Him too!! We asked some of our staff how their relationship with God or view of Him has shifted throughout this series. Whether they are seeing God in a different way, experiencing something new with God, or putting one of Pastor Chris’ weekly homework assignments into practice- let’s see what some of our staff have to say!

_Vinny H._ :

“It’s been transformational in how we experience God as a family, especially our 8th grader who attends the service and listens to the Sunday conversations. Our prayers together have become a lot more authentic and it’s helped to remind us that God is a person that’s close to us that we can talk to on a daily basis. As I’ve spent less time asking God for stuff, I’ve been able to remember all the ways He’s already been present and working in my life… that in turn and just reminded me that He’s in control, He loves me and I don’t need to worry anyway.”

_Igor M._ :

“What I have been experiencing during the ‘Enjoying God’ series is how practical it has been. With Pastor Chris’s weekly homework assignments I have been able to put into practice what I have learned in the conversations throughout the week. The homework has been of great help in my walk with God!”

_Megan Y._ :

“I’ve been making more connections between the things that I enjoy that I previously felt were “apart from God” to Him. I’m realizing that they’re not “apart from Him” at all and that He brought those things into my life for a purpose. He wants me to have the joy that comes from them and He’s allowing me to meet new people and either grow from them or to be a light into their lives through shared interests. It’s so great to remember that He is in all of it!”

_Yuli F._ :

“The ‘Enjoying God’ series has reminded me to come to God as I would a friend. To share my celebrations, laughs, and trials with Him, instead of listing things for Him to fix.”

_Rachel K._ :

“I have been trying to keep up with doing the “homework” Pastor Chris has been giving us on Sunday which has really helped me to be intentional with God! It has helped me to apply all that I’m learning throughout this conversation to more than just Sunday and to bring it into my everyday conversations with God. I am excited to see the change over time as I continue to ask these new questions, change the way I talk to God, and how I see Him!”

We can’t wait to see the impact our ‘Enjoying God’ conversation will continue to have on our relationship with God going forward and we hope everyone can leave this conversation knowing what it is like to delight in God and remembering how much He delights in us!

Staff Picks: Enjoying God In New Ways

This year was our 12th annual 1Day Hoboken, where we take one day to bring together as many people as we can to accomplish as much as we can for our city! 1Day may have looked a little different this year due to the weather, but that didn’t stop us from loving our community in the best way we could.

Our 1Day Hoboken turned into 2 days of 1Day! We had over 650 people serve with us for different civic and nonprofit organizations across our city! The projects that we did around Hoboken throughout those two days will impact our neighbors for months to come!

Although the outdoor projects for 1Day Hoboken got postponed to the following weekend, we were still able to make a big impact by completing 7 indoor projects across Hoboken! Some of our projects included organizing and cleaning at the American Legion Veteran’s home, preparing meals to serve at the Hoboken Shelter, cleaning refurbished computers for under-resourced communities at Computers4People, and cleaning at Lunchtime Ministries and the Symposia Community Bookstore!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/10/52405002383_11d391ab93_o-copy.jpg)

The team at the Hoboken Volunteer Ambulance Corps was so grateful for our help! They said what our team was able to do in just that one day would’ve taken them weeks to do! It’s amazing the significance one day can have and we are so grateful to have been able to come together to impact our community!

The second day of 1Day was just as strong, as our other volunteers came together to complete some of the originally planned outdoor projects! We had hundreds of people all around Hoboken painting curbs and fences at the Hoboken Housing Authority, weeding and gardening at the Community Gardens, and organizing and cleaning at the Community Food Bank. It was amazing to see the new friendships being formed while serving together and the contagious joy of everyone who was a part of 1Day!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/10/52405001338_cba856e5bd_o-copy.jpg)

At Hoboken Grace, we believe _we don’t just live here, we love here_! It’s incredible to see the impact of just ~~one~~ two day(s) of service and what can happen when we come together to love our community! We are so grateful for the hard work the Bridge Events team put into planning our 1Day this year and for all of those who served with us at this special event!

Rain Turns 1Day Into 2Days!

I grew up in the suburbs of southeast Pennsylvania in West Chester about 40 minutes from Philadelphia. As a result, I never experienced living in a city before coming to Hoboken to attend Stevens Institute of Technology, nor did I experience how my faith would adapt to these circumstances. It was not the balancing of academics or the homesickness of PA that was a problem but I wondered if I could make new friends and also wondered where I would go to church.

The first night at Stevens was one of anxiety and sadness. I missed my girlfriend, I missed my bed, I missed my friends at school, and I missed the suburban environment. I did not realize how much my life was going to change.

Although I was frightened and worried about what the city environment could bring, I ended up making relationships that would change my perspective on the very things I was worried about. One day, I was walking around my school and found Stevens Christian Fellowship (SCF). I wanted to get integrated with faith because I needed a community and I also needed to find a Church. When I was growing up, it was so important to be in a faith community — that is how I made friends and grew.

I walked into Stevens Christian Fellowship and they welcomed me with open arms. Every last person in that community became and still is one of my friends and they made a lonely freshman, a loved one. As I got integrated, I found Hoboken Grace in the fall of 2019\. That week, Pastor Chris started doing a series on the book “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. Like many newcomers to Hoboken Grace, I was new to this type of unique service. On the other hand, I felt the words were speaking to me and all that I was going through. Actually, I read the entire book with another member of SCF in the weeks Pastor Chris was presenting it. It was an enlightening moment that welcomed me to Hoboken Grace.

As time went on, I got to know Hoboken like the back of my hand and it was thanks to both the Stevens Christian Fellowship and the Hoboken Grace community. I am able to attend Hoboken Grace services, events, and groups alongside students that are going through the same things as me and that is something very special. Although I still missed my girlfriend, I introduced her to Hoboken Grace as well, and she got more involved in her own Christian community back home.

Hoboken Grace has brought me an environment that I feel has always loved me and my friends. Both pastors, Anthony and Chris, have come to Stevens and have spoken to our students, and that is very special. Now, I’m here in 2022 wondering where I would be without such an amazing faith community.

Finding A Church At The Right Time

As we head into a new season, it is the perfect time to step out of your comfort zone and dive into something new! We have so many opportunities for you to step out this fall and get plugged into community! From fun connection events, to making an impact in our city, to meeting new people, we have plenty of ways to start off the fall in a powerful way! Who knows what one small step of trying something new could lead to?

**1). Join A Dinner Group**

Dinner Groups are at the core of what we do here, as they are essential in getting connected beyond Sundays! God didn’t intend for you to do life alone- you were created for community! Make sure you [sign up](https://hobokengrace.com/dinnergroups/#join) for a group so you can walk through the fall and our conversations alongside others! We have Men’s, Women’s, and Married Groups, where you will find a place to be real with one another, grow together, and form friendships!

**2). Come Out Of Your Shell**

We have a lot of exciting [Connection Events](https://hobokengrace.com/events/) coming up this fall! From our [Hoboken Coffee Crawl](https://subspla.sh/6xqmdfw/) to [The Doughnut Hop](https://subspla.sh/nx3dpj7/), there’s something for everyone – and it’s an easy and fun way to meet new people! So mark your calendars for all of our upcoming events and join in on the fun!

**3). Make An Impact In 1Day**

Our 12th annual 1Day Hoboken is right around the corner on Saturday, October 1st! Each year, we take one day to make the biggest impact possible in our city in a day completely devoted to service. There will be over 35 service projects across the city and we will end the day with a fun after-party celebrating all that’s been accomplished! Don’t miss out! [Register today.](http://hobokengrace.com/1day/)

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2022/09/51543959486_3b1d918550_o-1.jpg)

**4). Find Financial Freedom**

When it comes to giving generously, oftentimes what holds us back is anxiety over our finances. FPU is for anyone who dreams of finding financial freedom — freedom from debt, anxiety, and any sort of uncertainty about budgeting and financial planning. Join us as we engage our finances from a new perspective and pursue true financial peace! Find out more and [register today](https://www.getfinhealthy.com/fpu/)!

**5). Invite Someone To Church** 

As we head into fall and walk through our new conversation, Enjoying God, it is the perfect time to invite someone to church! You never know the potential impact you can have on someone’s life by simply inviting them to join you on Sunday!

**6). Join A Team**

Joining a team is a great way to serve others, share your talents, have fun, and meet new people! Maybe that looks like making people feel welcome each Sunday morning, as a member of the First Impressions Team. Or helping kids learn about how much God loves them through Grace Kids. You can also make an impact through photography, social media, planning events, and so much more! Check out all of our [impact teams](https://hobokengrace.com/teams/) and experience the power of serving with us this fall!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2017/09/51995582689_659ed7a559_o.jpg)

**7). Meet New Friends**

If you’re looking to make some new friends, you don’t want to miss our [Speed Friending](https://subspla.sh/7ymtrs8/) connection event on Sunday, September 25th! There will be fun questions and icebreakers to make meeting new people enjoyable and easy!

**8). Share Your Story** 

One powerful way to impact those in our community is by sharing your story of how God has been moving in your life. God can use your story to impact others’ lives by encouraging, inspiring, and igniting their faith. Find out more about [sharing your story](https://hobokengrace.com/share-your-story/) with us!

_For more information about any of these events, groups, and other opportunities, email info@hobokengrace.com._

Stepping Out This Fall

We talked to some of our staff to find out what they are reading this summer! They shared with us why they’re reading it, what they’re learning, or what they’ve been enjoying about it!

**_Em_ _ma S._** 

“I’m reading _Hinds’ Feet on High Places_ by Hannah Hurnard and it’s actually my second time reading it because I enjoyed it so much the first time. It’s an allegory about a character named Much Afraid who is learning how to follow her Shepherd to the High Places. I love it because it beautifully explains the journey of a Christian through life – encountering trials, fears, and transformation with God. I cry, smile, and laugh all while reading this book!”

**_Luiz R._**

“This summer I’ve been reading through a book called _The Grace of God_ by Andy Stanley and it’s been a very good read so far. The title is pretty self-explanatory but it’s truly incredible to read through this book and be constantly reminded about how much God loves us. This book works through different stories from history and the Bible, presenting us with endless examples of how God has shown His grace to us time and time again, even when we don’t deserve it.”

**_Meghan H._**

“This year I really wanted to focus on building long-term routines and habits, and the book _Atomic Habits_ by James Clear was highly recommended to me (unprompted) by several different friends. I’m only in the first chapter, but it’s been a fun read so far!”

**_Tony B._** 

“I have been reading _Herding Tigers_ by Todd Henry. As the Director of the Production Team, I am leading a very creative team, and I want to improve as their team leader. This book is all about how to lead a creative team, and even only being a couple of chapters in, it has already taught me a lot!”

**_Nick L._**

“This summer I’ve been reading and enjoying _Deeply Formed Life_ by Rich Villodas who is a pastor in Queens. For those who already participate in our Rhythms at Hoboken Grace and/or Axiom, this is a great compliment to those practices as this book helps communicate how we can live contemplative lives in the city without needing to escape to the wilderness.”

_**Rachel K.**_

“I’m reading the _Meaning of Marriage_ by Timothy Keller, which I first started reading when I was single because I wanted to learn more about what a strong Christian marriage looks like and how I could date more intentionally! I wanted to be able to enter those stages of dating, engagement, and marriage with a better understanding of God’s design for marriage.”

Staff Picks: Our Summer Reads

My journey back to God began at the Hoboken Grace Easter Egg hunt in the spring of 2019\. Seeing my kids and others squeal with delight as they uncovered candy-filled plastic eggs in the hay, I wondered – what amazing organization is behind this initiative? Who does this kind of thing in Hudson County FOR FREE?! I was also a relatively new mom, with all the typical struggles that come with that stage of life. I needed support, and this seemed like the kind of community that just might have what I was looking for.

I started attending Hoboken Grace in-person and online, and joined a virtual dinner group that was led by a friendly-looking woman who was a little bit older than me. She felt like a safe person. I can manage being in an online group, I thought – especially if I can turn my camera off and be a passive participant sometimes. 

The friendly-looking woman was named Vicki, and indeed, she was wonderful. She made me feel immediately welcome and at ease. In fact, I had never met someone like her in my childhood church. She was very honest about her personal story, and as messy as parts of it were, she was one of the best examples I had ever seen of obedience and faith in God. She was so relatable, and I could see the grace of God working in her life. She was the first person at Hoboken Grace who really made me feel at home. 

While I continued in the group throughout that year and into the early months of COVID, I was largely a passive participant. The group met during my kids’ bedtime routine, which didn’t help matters. “I’m not connecting with anyone in the group,” I lamented to Vicki. She encouraged me to keep showing up and trying, but ultimately, I realized that I needed to deconflict my dinner group with bedtime. In hindsight, it’s clear to me how important consistency is when you’re in a dinner group.

So I joined a lunchtime meeting, led by another nice woman named Patty. With this group, I kept my camera on, spoke up, and really started to share my experience, my fears, my doubts and my hopes. And what I was saying seemed to resonate with other group members, as they began opening up about their own life circumstances. About a year into this group, in the spring of 2021, and at the encouragement of our new group leader Dana, I decided to take the step of Baptism. Dana stood on the stage with me and held my hand. I will never forget it.

I know it’s not like this for everyone, but for me, there really was a “Before Baptism” and “After Baptism” experience. I stood on that stage and proclaimed that I would follow Jesus wherever he led me. I will spare you the details, but suffice it to say that it has not always been an easy road since I made that decision and declaration. But I have continued to follow him and continue to take steps toward God, and I have begun to experience that “peace that surpasses all understanding” in my day-to-day life.

I’ll never forget the Sunday when Pastor Chris talked about answering “yes” to God’s call. I walked out of that service, determined that when God is asking me to take my next step, I don’t want to say no. And that’s around the same time that Dana was thinking to step back from leading the group and step up into other roles. 

There were many reasons for me to say no when Dana asked me to take on the leadership of our group. For one, my job was too demanding, and there was no way I could make every meeting. I’m a little bit embarrassed to admit this, but I was also worried about what my friends, and especially my family members who are not believers, would think about it. But my biggest excuse was that I didn’t have a picture perfect life, so I wasn’t fit to lead a dinner group. Nothing could be further from the truth.

When I started leading my group in the fall of 2021, I had all sorts of unresolved issues in my life. But much like Vicki had demonstrated for me, people don’t need perfect leaders. They need people who are relatable. They want to feel comfortable sharing their own struggles, and that starts with a leader who is honest and authentic about their own life. That includes Group wrestling with your own challenges and seeing God at work. 

The other “reasons” have also sorted themselves out. When I have an immovable work or family commitment, one of the other women steps up and leads the group that week. This has given other women the chance to “try out” leading the group, to see if it’s something that God is calling them to do in the future. Leading a group has also been an opportunity for me to invite people in my life, including those who don’t know Jesus, or those who maybe grew up in church but have put their relationship with God on the backburner, to come try out the group. Sometimes coming to an online group can be less intimidating than showing up at church on Sunday morning. Baby steps! 

Leading a group has filtered into other areas of my life and improved my relationship with God as well as my spiritual rhythms. I show up for church every Sunday, whether I’m in town (I go in person) or I’m out of town (I stream the service online). I read the Bible and pray for thirty minutes a day, several days a week, with one of the women from my group. And I spend more time in fellowship, during our group meetings and throughout the week. Leading a group has been a gravitational force pulling me back to God when I would otherwise be consumed by work and other false idols. It’s strengthened my faith by witnessing the miracles (big and small) that my group members have experienced. We’ve seen family members recover from addictions. Broken marriages pieced back together. And some of us are still in the thick of our mess, but we are pointing each other back to God as the answer, not the world. We are walking through the valley together, hand in hand.

Taking The Next Step: The Journey To Leading A Dinner Group

_To learn more about our upcoming events, click [here](https://hobokengrace.com/events/)!_

A close friend asked me recently, “what do you love about your church?” I could have given the long version, but that would have taken hours and both our phones might have died before I finished telling him. So I condensed it down to one word. “Connection.” I love that no matter who you are or where you’re from, there’s a way to feel at home and connected to every person who walks through the doors on Sunday in big and small ways. But it goes beyond Sunday. WAY beyond. Hoboken Grace has a special way of connecting with the community every single day of the week through a little concept called Connection Events.

The first Connection Event I ever attended was a First Friday at Northern Soul. I didn’t know a soul (despite the name of the place), and I almost skipped out on it for that reason. “It’ll be people just hanging out with the friends they already have established,” I thought. But I lived in the same building at the time, and some people there knew that and encouraged me to come along. I didn’t have much excuse with the event being held in what was effectively my basement. So I strolled into a sea of people from Hoboken Grace. Some I recognized, most I did not. But you know what? It was one of the greatest decisions I ever made. Not that I made all the close connections I needed in that single night, but it got the ball rolling in laying the groundwork for what would be my future church home. Simple conversations (and a little bit of darts), made it easier to meet up with everybody at the next event, and the next one, and the next one, until finally, I could pick out a majority of these faces on an average Sunday morning.

I know this all sounds great for someone new to the area. But what about well-established, Hoboken Grace veterans who have been attending and serving for years? Well, I think Connection Events are just as important, if not MORE so for them for a couple of reasons. 1\. You’re comfortable and know the church community well. I felt at home at my first Connection Event because I had people there to make me feel that way. People who knew how to love well and could introduce me to many others. A room of new folks is awesome, but sometimes they need a leader with a little sense of direction. You could be that person, despite thinking you have nothing to offer if you decided to show up to the latest Coffee Crawl. And 2\. You need connection outside of Sundays just as much as the new folks do. There tends to come a point where some will attend every event they can for a year straight, and then when they become established in the church and in the community they’ll think “okay, I think I’m good now.” But connection doesn’t have an end date. It doesn’t have a time limit. Connection is something you have to constantly be maintaining to keep it strong.

The cherry on top of all of this is getting to experience new activities and places that maybe we wouldn’t normally think of, with people who love and serve the same God you do. We live in one of the greatest locations in the world, and getting to explore new coffee shops, museums and parks is just the tip of the iceberg for all that we can see together. Maybe you didn’t think you’d enjoy rock climbing, but you went to an event at Gravity Vault and now it’s your favorite after-work activity. Maybe one of our Coffee Crawl stops introduced you to your favorite iced coffee spot in Hoboken. Maybe going to Speed Friending led to you finding a future roommate or spouse. Maybe you went to House of ‘Que trivia night and you found a connection with someone on your team through a mutual love of bad 70’s Sci-Fi movies.

Whether all of these or none of these are true for you, we hope that all of this ultimately builds a stronger connection with God. He put people in our lives for a reason. So that we don’t have to walk this journey of life alone. It doesn’t matter if it’s your first Sunday with us, or if you’ve been attending for ten years. Connection Events are for YOU, and we can’t wait to see you at the next one!

_To learn more about our upcoming events, click [here](https://hobokengrace.com/events/)!_

The Power Of Connection (Events)

You never know what a simple act of kindness can do for someone’s day or how it can impact their life! Every week our Simple Service team goes out to different parts of Hoboken to do a small act of kindness for the people of our city. It can be something as simple as handing out a water bottle on a hot summer day or a granola bar at the Path while people are on their way to work and maybe didn’t get a chance to eat breakfast that morning. We sat down with Igor, who is one of the leaders of the Simple Service team, to find out more about what they do.

With each food or beverage item the team hands out, they also give a card that is guaranteed to make people smile, such as a cute picture of a dog with glasses saying, “You Got This!” The back of the card says, “We hope that our small gift brightens your day and makes you smile. We believe that people were meant to love the way that God loves us, and we want to do that in any way we can.” It also shares a little bit about Hoboken Grace and where they can find us!

Igor’s favorite part about this whole experience is when he sees people reading the card after their interaction, maybe learning for the first time God’s love for them, being reminded of that, and even potentially checking out Hoboken Grace. 

It is amazing to see how God is working through our Simple Service team and in the lives of those we reach! The team has been reaching over 1,000 people every week! Their goal is to reach 100,000 for the year! You never know what seeds you can plant in someone’s life by going out of your way to show love and kindness to a stranger and for them to know that God is loving and pursuing them as well. One of our staff members, Rachel, who has been with us for over 10 years, joined Hoboken Grace after being approached by someone on the Simple Service team who offered her a granola bar and a card on her way to work. It is incredible how something as simple as a friendly smile, a granola bar, and a card could lead someone to know God!

Recently, the Simple Service team has also started going to local Hoboken events like Movies Under the Stars, to give people free popcorn, Oreos, and many other goodies! Igor has shared that it has been a great opportunity for kids to see God’s love.

People are usually surprised, and very grateful when they get something for free without asking for anything in return. Sometimes these short interactions simply end with a smile, while other times it leads to something more. Igor has experienced some people opening up and sharing about their faith, others asking questions about Hoboken Grace, and God has even opened doors for Igor to be able to pray for others. Simple Service hopes to live out one of the goals of Hoboken Grace, which is to help people to find their way back to God. We want people to know that God loves them and is for them. 

Currently, there are 15 people on the team, but they are growing and always looking for new people to serve alongside them! If you feel a nudge to join this team and make an impact in our city, we’d be happy to talk to you about it!

Keep It Simple!

There are several different reactions when a new Mission Trip is announced from the stage on a Sunday or sent out as an upcoming event in the weekly email. For context, a Mission Trip refers to a short-term trip, outside your immediate area, to support an organization already working in the respective country or region.

For some, it could be easy to hear and think, “that doesn’t really apply to me.” If I am being honest, this is exactly how I felt in the fall of 2012 when Hoboken Grace announced a desire to complete twelve Mission Trips in 2013\. I was relatively new in my faith and I still had a lot of questions. I figured there was no way that I could possibly go and share the message of Jesus given I hadn’t figured out my own understanding yet.

Others, may hear the announcement and get really excited about the trip. Then, they see the dates, and the trip cost and look at their vacation time. All of a sudden, the trip doesn’t seem so exciting anymore. This was my story for sure. At the time, I worked in finance and had just three weeks of vacation. Couple that with the fact that I wasn’t really talking to others about my faith, let alone considering asking them to donate to my trip. It sure felt like an impasse; like there were too many hurdles in my way.

The last group doesn’t even take the time to engage the thought. It is another announcement, just like the one last week and probably like the one coming next week. I have seen people’s eyes glaze over at this point of the service.

The challenge in these reactions is thinking about and prioritizing ourselves. If “I” don’t have all the answers, “I” shouldn’t go. Should “I” really give up my vacation time and financial resources to go? Certainly, other people are in different situations that would make it easier for them to go.

I want to challenge those thoughts for a minute. If you fall into the following categories, I think you should go on a Mission Trip:

- You want to grow in your personal walk with God.
- You are curious to expand your view of the world outside the comforts of your home.
- You desire to be a team player and want to meet other people just like you.
- You want to cultivate a servant’s heart and grow in your compassion.
- You want to learn from Godly examples.
- You are willing to prayerfully consider where God may want you to go and follow where He leads you.

My guess is that many of you fall into at least one of these categories. Wouldn’t it be cool to explore what God may have in store for you on one of these trips?

I ultimately decided to go, thanks to the encouragement from other believers. It drastically changed my life and I went back to Guatemala for five straight years. I still sponsor a child, Ashley, who is set to graduate high school next year! I received much more than the houses that we built on those trips.

Jesus gave up all the comforts of heaven and the privileges He had been granted to come to earth for us!

I also had the pleasure of talking with a few other people who participated in some of our Service Trips, and here is a little bit of what they had to say:

Rob – “I knew no one going on my first Mission Trip, but I felt called. I answered. God showed me things I never imagined He would. I don’t keep going because of what I can do to help, though that part is awesome. I keep going because of what God does for me each time. He has made my life so much richer from the experiences.”

Erin – “I originally went on a Mission Trip because I thought I would be helping or serving people who really needed it. What I found was that God used the trip to show me more about Himself, and show me places in my own life where I was poor and in need of help.”

Devin – “I go on Missions trips to step out of my world and submit to theirs, to learn how to serve even when it’s not easy and I may not feel effective with language barriers.”

Shelby – “Mission Trips are essential to growing your faith in ways that can’t happen when you are in the comfort of your own home. Leaving the comforts and privileges of our lives here and serving a different way of life opens your heart to see God’s love in an entirely different way.”

Mission Trips are a special way to see Christ’s love through service and perspective. Being able to humble yourself and serve others helps us connect with our Creator that humbled Himself to serve us. By serving our partners abroad we can extend our reach and impact lives that we wouldn’t be able to touch if it wasn’t for our partners.

The Mission Team would love to talk with you and answer any questions. Simply email us at missions@hobokengrace.com. We will be praying for you!

To learn more about our upcoming trips, click [here](http://hobokengrace.managedmissions.com/ourtrips)!

&#8220;That’s Not For Me&#8221;

_To watch our Quarterly Update, click [here](https://youtu.be/DX5xKSJexUE)!_

Last August, we announced for the first time that we had found a permanent space for our church. It was an amazing day for our church when we found out, and after a very difficult couple of years, we still saw God work in amazing ways. 

It began with the launch of the Home Initiative, taking different steps of faith as we dreamed of a permanent space that would help us to love our community and our city in better ways. 

As we look back over the past two years, we are in awe of what He has done through it all. God has provided something bigger than we ever thought possible and has provided just the type of space we needed. 

Since then, we closed on the new space and have been able to start working on everything that needs to be done for us to move into our new home! 

The new space provides over 25,000 square feet of usable room and the facilities needed to accommodate daily use with multiple configurations. It allows for classrooms, offices, meeting rooms, a worship space, a large multipurpose youth group room, and much more. We are completely blown away and are so excited to see how our nonprofit and other community partners will benefit from this amazing space. 

In the weeks that followed the closing, we hosted several work days, where we saw over 60 people participate in cleaning up, moving stuff out, and preparing the space for the contractors to come in. Through these work days, we were able to recycle over four tons of metal. After this, we were able to have several conversations to finish out the clean-out drawings and selected a contractor to complete the needed work at the space. 

In June, our permits were approved and we immediately began to work. Work started with removing the walls and risers from the theaters in order to create more open, usable spaces, and several counters throughout the building were also removed. The clean-out process carried on for a couple of weeks in order to prepare for the bigger changes and got us through to the end of the month.

This month, we were happy to see the clean-out process completed as we continue to work through design decisions and construction drawings with the architect. We have also made progress in removing old signage from the building which will allow us to soon put up our new signs! As we continue to move forward, we will soon be submitting more permits to continue all that we have to do as we move through the summer and into the fall. 

A lot of work has already been done, and we are so excited to see that progress and the involvement of our church through it all!

As construction continues and discussions proceed with permits and approvals, we are at a very important part of this process. We ask everyone to continue to pray for this process, the church leadership, and our city leaders as we work through everything we need to do to open up this space that will impact our city.

_To watch our Quarterly Update, click [here](https://youtu.be/DX5xKSJexUE)!_

409 14th St. Building Update

Blog

A Diverse, Growing, Contemporary, Community Church in Hoboken

Everything we do revolves around our mission of helping people find their way back to God. Our goal is to demonstrate who God really is and to let others know that God wants a relationship with each and every one of us.

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